The Wrong Days
The Wrong Days
| Date | September 11th, 2019 - May 11th, 2021 |
| Location | -17.1i, +17.1i |
| Death Toll | all |
| Damage | all |
| Context | RETCON |
| Perpetrator | Stressed Out Society, Kyle Mendez |
| Involved | all |
The Wrong Days is a span of time in the -17.1i and +17.1i timeline between September 11th, 2019 and May 11th, 2021, that should not exist. Everything about it is wrong.
The Wrong Days began after the RETCON collided an alternate timeline of +17i with the previously stable temporal path +17.1i. +17.1i and -17.1i then became an extremely unstable alternate timeline that ended with the eventual inevitable death of Mung Brigham on May 11th, 2021. At that time, the Wrong Days, and the validity of the entire 17.1 timeline set, ceased to be true.
This timeline saw the departure of the Friendly Council and all FUR-Es from a dimension deemed useless, the rise of The Chosen One and Karl Gurevich Requiem, and the second resurrection of Mr. Sioux Red.
Out of the Ashes a New Pantheon is Born (2019)
Karl Gurevich was freed from the confines of Yellow Ken's frothy spatial chains and in the process of being revived from such a quasi-dead state, he changed. Much like Aleksey Pivovarov's release from Odin's prison altered his source to make him Aleksey Pivovarov Requiem, Karl's release back into reality caused him to undergo a transformation of his own, and he became Karl Gurevich Requiem. Karl writhed in agony as his essence began to change. In his omnipotence, The Chosen One took notice of this alteration of data. He, who had essentially become the new HE, could feel the disdain for a common enemy-the descendants of Rada K Romanov. He reached out his hand, and Karl accepted the gesture.
Meanwhile, BOB and other surviving members of the Hallowed Council reconvened a few blocks away from the rubble and dissipated. BOB was satisfied with his success; he and some mysterious force from another universe actually managed to defeat the Friendly Council, or at least its control over fate. He had also successfully attained the Fertility of Mr. Sioux Red. Surely some hidden excess of his soul existed somewhere, at least to the knowledge of the man(REPTILE) who iced him in the first place. He could not rejoice visibly, however, for his grandson Yosef was mourning the loss of his cousin Aleksey who died in the destruction of Yggdrasil. After their harrowing journey during the Worst Days, BOB and Yosef now shared a strong familial bond with one another. For the first time in many years, perhaps ever, they hugged.
The rubble cleared across the land. The Friendly Council disbanded, and its REPTILEs and sheriffs were on their own. In the Gambia, Adama Barrow's regime quickly began to fall apart without mystical intervention, paving the way for the Coffee Liberation Front to make its way back to power. Because of these foreign affairs, Jeffrey Meena's political campaign began to lose momentum. The Crimson Bean had left Donald Trump's body anyway, so Meena's intentions were entirely selfish.
All the while, The Chosen One rapidly began approaching Fertile Apotheosis, assisted by Karl Gurevich Requiem, whose new ability, Russian Lullaby, allowed him to inflate or deflate the value of fertility. Soon, Rabo made his way to the pair, to assist in their goal to keep the universe together after the departure of the Friendly Council. Of course, even three of the most powerful beings in the universe couldn't hold everything together forever.
By late October, the first changes began.
Hoedown Throwdown, The Gambia Style (2019-2020)
The average fertility among lifeforms began to fluctuate at an unnatural level. Some people who were original of typical fertility levels became incredibly extrafertile, while others became highly sterile and yet others disappeared entirely, either due to consumption by ravenous Timeless Beings or by their attainment of Anile or Virile traits. By the first week of November 2019, even the least sentient of lifeforms were beginning to express these traits as well. From bacteria to trees to flies to humans, particle destruction was rampant.
World governments began to collapse as basic tenets civilization were no longer feasible. The Quantum Beef Bomb of Borger, Texas on November 1st 2019 led to a burst of sterile energy so strong that it breached the 17.1 continuum and affected multiple other planes. A duel between two British ex-friends, Kevin Skittersby and Woodborough Gloucestershire yielded in such an inversion of energy that Woodborough's visage was installed into one of several boundaries in cracks in the world's source.
Rabo, in his state of Fertile Apotheosis, knew that the current situation was thoroughly unsustainable. He, together with The Chosen One and Karl Gurevich Requiem, established the Holy Trinity, in mid-December 2019. However, it wasn't until the Woodborough Gloucestershire Glitch had sheared the Earth into four uneven quadrants that were impossible to pass through that the three began to be recognized as the authority in this rapidly-changing world.
The United States and China fell into states of fractured anarchy rather quickly upon the emergence of the Woodborough Fissures, and the rest of the world followed suit over the next few months. As such, presidential candidate Jeffrey Meena abandoned his presidential ambitions and became a warlord that ruled over the New California Republic, named so explicitly because of Meena's severe addiction to the Fallout Franchise. Once his dominion was established, he moved the seat of government, and the official stadium for the Los Angeles Angels baseball team, to his home town of Salton City, California where he made the stadium his personal residence. The former members of the Los Angeles Angels had been dosed with high levels of fertile energy and were hired by Meena as his personal guard. This elite organization, The Los Los Angeles Angels Angeles, was a formidable force in this doomed timeline.
As reality continued to break up and the Fissures expanded, The Holy Trinity traveled from town to town across large swaths of the world. The Chosen One cured glitches in the fabric of reality, Rabo strengthened the source of the landscapes and their lifeforms, and Karl Gurevich Requiem learned to use the newfound power he had attained from the body of Odin, Russian Lullaby, which allowed him to extract fertility or sterility from the outer world and concentrate it in lifeforms with such a gravity that Fertile Hyperinflation occurs. The rapidly dwindling population of the world came to worship the Holy Trinity for the stability they brought in their travels. There were tensions forming in the Trinity, however, as not only did Karl have a strong hatred toward Rabo, but Rabo began to grow weary of the shortsightedness of The Chosen One. This world would not last long, but the mission of restoration across the world continued.
For some reason, one area near the nexus of two of the major Fissures was apparently immune to the glitches in reality: Burong, The Gambia. Karl Gurevich Requiem had been pressuring the Trinity to make a stop in The Gambia for several months. In May of 2020, they arrived to a village much different than it had been since its most recent sinking.
Burong was now an enormous village of tents full of refugees from around the world, all of whom were extrafertile. Not a single sterile being was present in the village. While The Trinity had grown accustomed to adoration upon their arrival, this did not occur in Burong. Instead, there was silence, only interrupted with the whipping of the Coffee Liberation Front flags which flew over a field of stern stares.
One smile interrupted the mass of frowns - and it was that of Hatuey The Spoiler.
"Finally, things can start getting interesting around here." - Hatuey
Hatuey, only able to see potential futures up until the definite ending of the timeline, had been left to her own devices in Burong, extensively reading future developments. She was excited to see The Chosen One arrive in Burong, as it signified that interesting things were to come.
After asking around to find that there were no glitches to be found, Hatuey explained that this iteration of Burong was a temporary asymptote, something to remain for a time after +/-17.1 is rendered a Removable Discontinuity. While this fascinated Rabo and The Chosen One, Karl was unbothered, and strolled out of town into the more chaotic realm beyond Burong. He led The Trinity out west to Georgetown to the site of Coffee Haus 10.
Coffee Haus 10 had been thoroughly converted into a fort and wall complex constructed entirely out of logs and pieces of sheet metal. At the center square was a bell tower, which began to ring as soon as the Trinity was within a quarter mile of the site. Out came several members of the Coffee Liberation Front, now the de facto government of The Gambia. Most were obviously highly extrafertile and armed with fencing swords and AR-15s. A voice behind the troops called "Halt," before the soldiers cleared a path for the lords of the realm, Mr. Sioux Red and his son, Sioux Red Jr.
Karl approached without caution, hands confidently half-stuffed between his belt and his pants, pretending to chew gum though none existed. He noticed something was certainly different about Mr. Sioux Red.
Without a word, Sioux Red handed his son his staff, stepped into the opening between them and the Trinity, and he began to dance, a hideous, frantic mix of a Square Dance and The Macarena. The troops put down their weapons and began clapping in sync to the beat, shouting with joy at the miraculous moves of their revived, fearless leader. What ensued was a dance competition for the ages, a Hoedown Throwdown, The Gambia Style, one may say.
Karl presented some surprisingly sensual and powerful dance moves but in the end was thwarted by the sick moves of Sioux Red Jr., who shamed the competition. Rabo, having been in a fugue state for the prior seven minutes, came to the realization that Sioux Red's fertility was not fully his own, but rather, a mix of his own and BOB's.
Rabo felt that BOB (and thus, Super BOB) was an affront to nature, and thus Sioux Red's renewed life was, perhaps, unpalatable to him. BOB's actions during 17.1i's 9/11 of the Dead had actually brought Sioux Red back from nothingness. Feeling a sense of inevitability approaching, Rabo departed 17.1i and returned to -17i in the blink of an eye. As parting words, he turned to a panting Karl Gurevich Requiem:
"In this big bold world, there is no 'should,' merely what is. I've seen through The Looking Glass. But this, this should not be." - Rabo
Sioux Red Jr. commanded the two remaining members of the Holy Trinity to leave Burong at once. The Chosen One demonstrated his ability to temporarily fix breaks in reality, putting a hole in the visage of Woodborough Gloucestershire before the eyes of the people of Burong.
Impressed, the Sioux Reds invited Karl and Kyle in for some coffee. In their large, candle-lit tent, Sioux explained his disdain for Karl and his prior actions involving Starbucks, and then asked if the two members of the Trinity had discovered a convenient way to help the humans of typical fertility escape the dying dimension. Kyle, exhibiting the hubris expected of a Chosen One, boldly declared that this dimension would not end on his watch.
"Yes it will be more challenging without Rabo and his Fertile Apotheosis, but with Karl's help I can keep this world afloat indefinitely." - Kyle Mendez, The Chosen One
Karl winced a bit at that statement. Hatuey appeared at that moment, looking concerned toward Karl. Everyone in the room was visibly startled, but dinner and coffee continued. Hatuey tried to warn the group of what was to come, but they ignored her as if she were a pest to be shooed away.
Besieged for Continuity's Sake (2020)
The entire quantum enclave of Burong was rocked by a thunderous rumbling. Hatuey audibly said "Shit" under her breath. As the five powerful beings left the tent to see what was going on outside, they noticed what looked like an army of shadowy individuals surrounding the glitch wall. A voice over a megaphone rang over the confused crowd in Burong:
"Looks like you've all ended up right where I need you, so I intend to keep you there." -???
It was none other than Chief of the Continuity Police, leading hundreds of Continuity officers in a circle around the village, just outside of the glitch.
"Don't try crossing into another plane - we'll find you there. In fact, your friend Rabo's movement is what led me to pinpoint this location in spacetime. You can thank him later." - Chief
Not amused, The Chosen One walked up to the glitch wall and opened a path large enough for two Continuity Policemen to come charging in for an attack. Kyle was immediately kicked in the balls and tackled to the ground, knocking the wind out of him. As one officer beat his face and the other attempted to apply quantum handcuffs, Kyle attempted to force them off by levitating, but he couldn't lift himself up with a quantum handcuff applied. Karl approached and siphoned fertility and sterility from the exterior world and pumped fertility into one officer and sterility in the other before pulling their energies into one another. In the nick of time, Kyle used his ability, Life Itself, on himself, to keep his energy from being destroyed. The officers were knocked to the ground, but were not destroyed, seemingly due to their strength deriving from Anility.
As the occupation of the Continuity Police expanded in Burong and other "safe" pockets in the decaying world, the Holy Trinity attempted to make their escape. Using Hatuey as a distraction, the group allowed Rabo to temporarily alter their source from Fertility to Virility, an extremely dangerous maneuver. This was no guarantee of safety from the Continuity Police, but the signature left from their movement would be much smaller than it would have been with Fertility. It had now been approximately 4 months since the group was able to leave Burong, and as they crossed the threshold of the Imaginary Plane briefly via Rabo's Virile pulse, they found themselves in a quite different world.
Not only was reality even further broken, with even gravity itself having frequent malfunctions as they crossed the terrain, but they realized that perhaps 95% of the population had been converted into an ever-larger imploding clash of larger and larger units of Wet Ghoul material and raw, disconnected fertility and sterility. The group boarded a small naval vessel in northern Senegal and sailed north until they arrived in Western Sahara, where a powerful group of fishermen stopped them. The Holy Trinity offered to bring them to sanctuary in Burong or heal their accelerating Fertile Hyperinflation, but they declined, stating that they had been saved by "the monkey."
The group disembarked and followed the fishermen to the Western Saharan town of De Lamhiriz. The fishermen were not lying: much of the old world had indeed been conquered by a highly intelligent chimpanzee named Gideon Shimp. Shimp had established De Lamhiriz as his palace after fleeing the British Isles, and so was available to have a direct audience with the Holy Trinity. Shimp, as it turned out, was once the pet chimpanzee of Kevin Skittersby, one of the perpetrators of the Woodborough Gloucestershire Problem. Shimp had already been one of the most intelligent non-human animals on Earth before the corruption of 17.1i, and had already discovered the secrets of Sterility in Tea. His ability, "Monkey Gone To Heaven," only fully emerged after the corruption. It allowed him to funnel "understanding and enlightenment" to all beings willing to accept the beacon of pure Sterility that emanated from his large chimp eyes.
The Holy Trinity explained that Sterile beings were not allowed to enter Burong, and that they wished to simply gather more fertile converts to preserve their lives. As Shimp made very clear to them, the only Fertile Territories that remained in the ever-subdividing quadrants of the Earth was the New California Republic. Shimp preferred to maintain his status as "Caesar" of his "Legions" and do battle with the New California Republic whenever necessary. He wanted no interference from the Holy Trinity or Burong.
By the time this conversation at Caesar's Palace De Lamhiriz concluded, Rabo could sense the approach of the Continuity Police, so the group made their way back toward Burong.
As it turned out, Gideon Shimp was a common threat to the fabric of reality in several timelines in the Imaginary Plane, and as such, the Continuity Police's discovery of Shimp's lair led to a period of unbridled warfare between the two groups. For the remainder of 2020 and into early 2021, the Holy Trinity made occasional excursions into the outside world, but found fewer and fewer recognizable terrains. By early May 2021, The Chosen One needed to spend most of his days repairing the fabric of reality at the bounds of Burong. Meanwhile, the Continuity Police and the New California Republic's The The Los Angeles Angels managed to pierce some of the Gloucestershire barriers and conquer most of Shimp's territory. Finally, as the world literally crumbled around, Shimp]] walked to the gates of Burong, alone and defeated. He was profoundly dangerous, and in an attempt to make him less dangerous, Rabo converted his Sterility into Virility, making him Burong-compatible and also highly dangerous to the Anile Continuity Police. When Hatuey saw Shimp enter Burong, she immediately left for another reality.
The Only House That's Not On Fire Yet (2021)
It was May 21st, 2021. Burong was the only place that didn't sink that day.
Asymptotic (2022)
Burong was a stable piece of reality for nearly a year, but in early 2022 it, too, began to crumble.