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Kyle Mendez
Kyle Salado Mendez
| Birth | May 11th, 1994 |
| Spouse | several girlfriends who all have died |
| Career | Phone Receptionist at INDIAHELP |
| Known for | being THE CHOSEN ONE |
Kyle Salado Mendez is The Chosen One.
Early Life
Kyle was born to Cuban-American parents in Miami, Florida. He received the "Most Likely to be an Accountant" award in his 8th grade yearbook superlatives listing. Because of this, Kyle quit playing the trombone and dedicated himself full-time to mediocrity.
He got a job at the mail room of the INDIAHELP call center in 2005, as part of a bulk affirmative action hire, not for his ethnicity, but for his mediocrity. Along with him was hired a furry named Sleuthclaw Seascale.
The Prophecy
In 2018, Kyle was riding a LIME scooter back to his fourth floor apartment near the Design District when a sinkhole formed exclusively on the sidewalk he was driving on. He fell into a seemingly ancient cave and a spectral figure named Hatuey declared that Kyle was "The Chosen One," and that the universe would be forever against him until he could fulfill "The Prophecy," without actually specifying the requirements to fulfill said prophecy. Kyle was released to the world and the sinkhole closed.
Since then, Kyle has had three cars destroyed, two apartments destroyed in hurricanes, and seven bad breakups(or death-related relationship endings) with women in his life. He met Love Electra when she first started working at the office, but Love generally avoids him. He became involved with the mystery as to how Mung Brigham died.
Life Itself
| Effect | repairs any selected glitches in spacetime, patching the errors |
| Origin | Hatuey |
| Power | infinite |
| Rarity | one user |
| Destructive Power | 0, literally the most reparational thing ever |