Restoration of the Mages
War for the Restoration of the Gambian Coffee Haus Mages (2021)
| Date | March 15th, 2021 - January 9th, 2022 |
| Location | The Gambia |
| Death Toll | 13,461 |
| Damage | ~D6B+ |
| Context | Coffee Coup of 2021, 9/11 of the Dead |
| Involved | Coffee Liberation Front, Veterans of the Riparian Expedition, Decaf Squad, Gambian Army |
The Restoration of the Mages refers to the series of armed and political conflicts in 2021 and 2022 beginning with Adama Barrow's deployment of VORE and the rekindling of the Decaf Squad, and ending with the deposition of Adama Barrow and the REPTILEs and their replacement with Yahya Thor Requiem and the Coffee Haus Mages.
As a result of this, the political landscape of the world was shifted into a polarized one, bringing coffee to the center stage worldwide.
The Art of Keeping Up Disappearances
On a rainy winter morning in early 2021, a small set of gravestones trickled with precipitation, with reddish puddles lying in the soil surrounding them. On each of these stones was written a small praise to Allah along with the name of the deceased, on all but one. One man stood, clad in a trenchcoat. He deposited a handful of coffee beans on the ground at the base of the gravestone for Mr. Sioux Red. The man knew that there was no body in this grave, and also that there was likely no chance that it would anyone would ever find it.
This man was Sioux Red Jr. He was known as "No Cream Red" among his colleagues, the Coffee Liberation Front. To them, Red Junior was the heir to the Coffee Haus Mages, and therefore the best warrior in the Gambia to defeat the supernatural forces of the Adama Barrow regime. The only issue was that Red had merely basic fertility. It was likely that he at one point had significant extrafertility, but it was at some point stolen or iced, perhaps by that scoundrel who took his father's livelihood. Either way, Red Junior was dealing with imposter syndrome to heavenly proportions.
It had been over 19 months since Mr. Sioux Red was sent to the Realm of the Dead and presumably left for super-dead. Red Junior had been coming to the cemetery each time he needed strength. Recently, Adama Barrow had banned all mention of caffeinated products; and days later the president of the United States authorized the sending of special "U.N." operatives to the Gambia to prevent the spread of Gambian coffee. These factors, along with news spreading that Yahya Jammeh had returned from the dead to save the Gambia, had the Gambian public ready for open rebellion. The people were ready to rally around Red Junior and the other surviving members of Coffee Haus to lead the pro-caffeine forces to victory.
Red thought he saw something in the corner of his eye, and turned his head rapidly to see a blurry image of a naked European man with several missing limbs rolling through the mud. Somehow Red recognized this odd being, something from his childhood. Red ran towards the man and wrestled him in the mud until he subdued. It was BOB. No, something wasn't right, but it also wasn't... wrong, persay. It appeared that BOB had become rather super, while also being a naked eldery man in the mud with one arm and three stubs for other limbs.
After wrestling BOB to submission, Red asked what had happened.
"I failed, child. I couldn't save him." - Super BOB
Red knew what he was talking about; he knew that BOB had apparently been trying to rescue his father's fertility from the other side, for the past 2 years. He tried inviting BOB home for some clothes and care.
"I shouldn't; I'm a monster now... I need to defend this site from the people who are coming." - Super BOB
"People? What people?" - Red Junior
"I defeated the Crimson Bean in America, but there was no controlling the inflation..." - Super BOB
"The..." - Red
"Please, leave me, I'll fend them off." - Super BOB
Red felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around, only to see a very menacing being.