Rada K. Romanov

Rada K. Romanov

Rada in 2015

Name	Rada Kepelkeker Romanov
Birth	October 31st, 1917
Death	August 28th, 2019 (Age 103)
Parents	Genghis Kepelkeker(Father), Menas Chagatai Kepelkeker(Mother)
Spouse	Eyfim Romanov Romanov(1938-1945)
Children	Gak Rasputin, Anna Romanov, Margarita Kepelkeker
Career	Coffee Person
Known for	The Kepelkeker Farm Scandal The Grand Babuska "Coffee Got Us Here"

Rada Kepelkeker Romanov was the matriarch of the Kepelkeker clan during her lifetime. She was exactly as old as the Soviet Union, being born on October 31st, 1917. She lived in Omsk for most of her life, after a short tenure in Azerbaijan that would lead to most of her destiny. She was the mother of Anna Romanov, Gak Rasputin, and Margarita Kepelkeker; and she was the grandmother of Kelley Ann Gurevich, Yosef ROmanov, Aleksey Pivovarov, and Baglaff Rasputin the Red; she was the great-grandmother of Dmitriy Gurevich and Bean Pivovarov.

Early Life

Rada Keperkekel was born to two poor Tatar siberian coffee merchants, Genghis Kepelkeker and Menas Chagatai Kepelkeker in 1917 while the newly formed Red Army was on the march to victory across Asia. Genghis Kepelkeker claimed to be a direct descendent of Genghis Khan and thus owned much of the coffee plantations in Kolosovka before they were nationalized. She had to deal with the loss of her father when he was convicted of non-communist beliefs in 1924, and his escape and disappearance affected her greatly. Her mother, Menas, allowed her to go to Omsk, the big city, where she graduated from SKOLA 2 . Her mother had been going out with other men, she remarried. In 1938 Rada met and promptly married Eyfim Romanov Romanov, a wealthy expat to Azerbaijan. They had their first child, a son named Nikolas Romanov in 1939, and soon after a complication related to the property ownership of the smell of coffee, Rada and Eyfim were separated from their young son, who would survive in the woods for four years, reemerge in Kazakhstan in 1948.

The Bad Days (1944-1954)

In 1944, Rada and Eyfim escaped to Azerbaijan to begin a new life. From the port city of Baku, they began a small, state owned fishing business. In May of 1945, Eyfim abandoned Rada, never to be seen again, after hearing of the failure of the Axis Powers. Rada then lived in poverty and loneliness, engaging in many unholy activities until she was impregnated by a paranormal investigator known only as BOB. She escaped Baku in 1954 and made her way back to Omsk by the Caspian Sea and gave birth to Anna Romanov there.

Rada in 1957 with young Anna Romanov

Later Years

Rada remained in Omsk for the rest of her life to watch the development of her children. She had a third child with a male prostitute in 1959, who would be named Margarita Kepelkeker. Her words of wisdom to her grandchildren became "Coffee Got Us Here."

Upon her retirement in the late 1980s, it was her decision as to who would get to own the Kepelkeker Farms after the collapse of the Soviet Union. She ended up choosing her granddaughter Kelley Ann Romanov. A huge outrage was caused when Kelley Ann turned the farm over to her new husband Karl marx Gurevich, who quickly sold the farms to Starbucks for the money. The wars that would follow would last over 25 years and take nearly 20,000 lives.

She made a facebook account in June 2018.

On August 28th, 2019, she died of mysterious causes after seeing BOB and Yosef one last time.