Karl Marx Gurevich
Karl Marx Gurevich
| Name | Born Karl Marx, later renamed Karl Marx Gurevich |
| Birth | September 11th, 1974 |
| Death | Still Alive (Age 44) |
| Parents | Marina Polishevsky (Mother), Nikolas Marx (Father) |
| Spouse | Kelley Ann Romanov (1989–2017) |
| Children | Dmitry Mikoyan Gurevich |
| Career | Businessman, Coffee |
| Known for | Kepelkeker Farms Scandal, The Great Caffeinated Death |
Karl Marx Gurevich is a Russian businessman and current landlord of the Starbucks-controlled Kepelkeker Farms near Omsk, Russia. His son Dmitriy Mikoyan Gurevich was killed shortly after committing the Great Caffeinated Death in an attempt to sabotage his uncle's relationship with the Gambia.
Early Life
Karl began his life in a townhouse in Moscow with his parents, Marina Polishevsky and Nikolas Marx. His childhood was filled with admiration for Russian president Khruzchev, but shortly before the fall of the Soviet Union he met Kelley Ann Romanov, who, after the retirement of her grandmother Rada K. Romanov, had the opportunity to take over the family coffee plantation in Omsk Russia.
Career
This plantation, the Kepelkeker Farms, was sure enough returned to officially private property by President Gorbechov in 1989. An issue formed as to who rightfully could own the property. Kelley Ann's brother, Yosef Romanov, and her cousin, Aleksey Pivovarov, along with a long lost relative Gak Rasputin, competed for the property rights. This controversy began the nearly three-decade-long Kepelkeker Farms Scandal, in which Kelley Ann, and by proxy, Karl, became the majority shareholder by 1995. In celebration of capitalism, Karl added the Russian last name "Gurevich" to emphasize his separation from the ideas of the philosopher Karl Marx. In 1997 he sold the farms to the growing company Starbucks and became a millionaire. Shortly after, his son Dmitriy Gurevich was born.
Living a life of luxury, changed the family dynamic, and during the 2005-2007 and 2015-2018 ceasfires of the Farms Scandal, Yosef Romanov brought Karl and his family on vacations to the Gambia to experience their "hot beans." This led to Karl and Yosef investing heavily in the Gambian coffee industry and its supporters, including incumbent Gambian president Yahya Jammeh. In an effort to destroy the business ambitions of Aleksey and Yosef, he hired Gambian warlord Seedy Buba to destroy Aleksey's holdings in the Gambia while he was on his honeymoon with Aisha Mankita. This led to the radicalization of his son against the entire coffee industry and Dmitry later conducted the Great Caffeinated Death and was killed by the Gambian air force. In the aftermath of their son's death, Karl and Kelley Ann divorced. Kelley Ann moved to Maryland, and, in fear for his money, Gurevich moved to Brazil in a predominantly Mozambican community, where he lives to this day.