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C.H.E.S.
Connoisseurs of
Herbally-Enriched Substances
| Founded | 13 October 1757 |
| Founders | Nuck Chorris, King Arthur, Murdock mac Leod |
| Time Period | 1757–present |
| Goals | A deeper understanding and furtherance of personal Sterility |
| Political Ideology | Tea |
| Enemies | The Leafeaters |
The Connoisseurs of Herbally-Enriched Substances, or C.H.E.S. (IPA: /kʰɛs/), founded in 1757, are an organisation dedicated to maximising their Sterility via the consumption of increasingly elaborate and concentrated tea-based concoctions.
C.H.E.S. members that possess a Sterility level of at least 114,942,432.044 are dubbed ‘Masters’ and traditionally ranked on the following scale:
| Rank | Required Sterility |
|---|---|
| Master | 114,942,432.044 |
| Intranational Master | 739,085,572.133 |
| Extranational Master | 1,414,213,613.562 |
| Grand Master | 2,718,281,828.459 |
While there technically is no strict hierarchy in C.H.E.S.—the mastery levels merely indicate how much sterility a member has, and members are free to act as they wish, so long as they do not act against other members—its de-facto leader is, and has been for over 2 centuries, Nuck Chorris, who assumed the role after the Battle for the Leaf in 1822.
Among C.H.E.S.’s core tenets are:
- A requirement for each member to imbibe at least 3 cups of tea per day (increased to 3 per hour for Masters and above).
- A ban on the consumption of coffee.
- A ban on the killing and consumption of crab.
Known C.H.E.S. Grand Masters include Carlos Søren Magnussen, Nuck Chorris, King Arthur, Sir Timothy Angus McLeod, and Júlio da Silva Fenton-Awnthorpe.