Starbucks v. Romanov: The Trial of the Century

Starbucks v. Romanov (2020)

Date

2020

Starbucks v. Romanov was a court case that led to the Supreme Court of the United States in 2021. Anna Romanov accused Starbucks of poisoning her mother, Rada K. Romanov, by using purposefully poisoned coffee a la Caffeinated Death of 2016. Starbucks claimed that the could not be sued by a non-U.S. person outside of the United States but it turned out that such a claim had no constitutional accuracy since Starbucks was still an American company. Due to this, Anna Romanov invoked the Third Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, claiming that the Barista Armed Forces were unlawfully quartered on the Kepelkeker Farms.

Law vs. Law

Yosef Romanov and Aleksey Pivovarov Requiem knew fully well that Rada Romanov was killed by the shock of finding out that Aleksey had died at Yosef's hands in the Gambian Holiday. Anna, however, could not be convinced of this, and blamed the capers of the now-deceased Karl Gurevich for this all happening.

Anna Romanov appealed to the 4th Circuit of the U.S. Supreme Appeals Court, claiming that Starbucks under the Barista Armed Forces violated the third amendment of the constitution by housing troops on private Kepelkeker Property. The court immediately denied them, but the existence of this debate was brought to the attention of president Jefferson Davis Meena. Meena, who wanted to eliminate Starbucks and foment Gambian coffee growing(while also trolling Yosef), bribed the Supreme Court to bring the case to their attention.

Meena, in a public statement, claimed "This isn't a matter of law, so much as it is a matter of law." Anna Romanov was ecstatic, but Yosef and Aleksey grew more discontented at the idea.