C.H.E.S.: Difference between revisions

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The '''Connoisseurs of Herbally-Enriched Substances''', or '''C.H.E.S.''' (IPA: /kʰɛs/), founded in 1757, are an organisation dedicated to maximising their [[Sterility]] via the consumption of increasingly elaborate and concentrated tea-based concoctions.
The '''Connoisseurs of Herbally-Enriched Substances''', or '''C.H.E.S.''' (IPA: /kʰɛs/), founded in 1757, are an organisation dedicated to maximising their [[Sterility]] via the consumption of increasingly elaborate and concentrated tea-based concoctions.  


There are various dissolute sects across the world who lay claim to the name of ‘C.H.E.S.’, members of which that possess a Sterility level of at least 114,942,432.044 are dubbed ‘Masters’ and traditionally ranked on the following scale:
C.H.E.S. members that possess a Sterility level of at least 114,942,432.044 are dubbed ‘Masters’ and traditionally ranked on the following scale:
{| class="wikitable centering"
{| class="wikitable centering"
|+ C.H.E.S. Mastery Levels
|+ C.H.E.S. Mastery Levels
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| Grand Master || 2,718,281,828.459
| Grand Master || 2,718,281,828.459
|}
|}
While there technically is no strict hierarchy in C.H.E.S.—the mastery levels merely indicate how much sterility a member has, and members are free to act as they wish, so long as they do not act against other members—it’s de-facto leader is, and has been for over 2 centuries, [[Nuck Chorris]], who assumed the role after the [[Battle for the Leaf]] in 1822.


Among C.H.E.S.’s core tenets are:
Among C.H.E.S.’s core tenets are:

Revision as of 23:50, 20 September 2024

Connoisseurs of
Herbally-Enriched Substances

File:C.H.E.S.png
C.H.E.S. Grand Masters at the 100th annual Oolong Drinking Contest
Founded13 October 1757
FoundersNuck Chorris, King Arthur, Murdock mac Leod
Time Period1757–present
GoalsA deeper understanding and furtherance of personal Sterility
Political IdeologyTea
EnemiesThe Leafeaters

The Connoisseurs of Herbally-Enriched Substances, or C.H.E.S. (IPA: /kʰɛs/), founded in 1757, are an organisation dedicated to maximising their Sterility via the consumption of increasingly elaborate and concentrated tea-based concoctions.

C.H.E.S. members that possess a Sterility level of at least 114,942,432.044 are dubbed ‘Masters’ and traditionally ranked on the following scale:

C.H.E.S. Mastery Levels
Rank Required Sterility
Master 114,942,432.044
Intranational Master 739,085,572.133
Extranational Master 1,414,213,613.562
Grand Master 2,718,281,828.459

While there technically is no strict hierarchy in C.H.E.S.—the mastery levels merely indicate how much sterility a member has, and members are free to act as they wish, so long as they do not act against other members—it’s de-facto leader is, and has been for over 2 centuries, Nuck Chorris, who assumed the role after the Battle for the Leaf in 1822.


Among C.H.E.S.’s core tenets are:

  • A requirement for each member to imbibe at least 3 cups of tea per day (increased to 3 per hour for Masters and above).
  • A ban on the consumption of coffee.
  • A ban on the killing and consumption of crab.

Known C.H.E.S. Grand Masters include Carlos Søren Magnussen, Nuck Chorris, King Arthur, Sir Timothy Angus McLeod, and Júlio da Silva Fenton-Awnthorpe.