C.H.E.S.: Difference between revisions

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The '''Connoisseurs of Herbally-Enriched Substances''', or '''C.H.E.S.''' (IPA: /kʰɛs/), founded in 1743, are an organisation dedicated to maximising their [[Sterility]] via the consumption of increasingly elaborate and concentrated tea-based concoctions.
The '''Connoisseurs of Herbally-Enriched Substances''', or '''C.H.E.S.''' (IPA: /kʰɛs/), founded in 1743, are an organisation dedicated to maximising their [[Sterility]] via the consumption of increasingly elaborate and concentrated tea-based concoctions.


There are various dissolute sects across the world who lay claim to the name of ‘C.H.E.S.’, members of which that possess a Sterility level of at least 114,942.044 are dubbed ‘Masters’ and traditionally ranked on the following scale:
There are various dissolute sects across the world who lay claim to the name of ‘C.H.E.S.’, members of which that possess a Sterility level of at least 114,942,432.044 are dubbed ‘Masters’ and traditionally ranked on the following scale:
{| class="wikitable centering"
{| class="wikitable centering"
|+ C.H.E.S. Mastery Levels
|+ C.H.E.S. Mastery Levels
Line 7: Line 7:
! Rank !! Required Sterility
! Rank !! Required Sterility
|-
|-
| Master || 114,942.044
| Master || 114,942,432.044
|-
|-
| Intranational Master || 739,085.133
| Intranational Master || 739,085,572.133
|-
|-
| Extranational Master || 1,414,213.562
| Extranational Master || 1,414,213,613.562
|-
|-
| Grand Master || 2,718,281.828
| Grand Master || 2,718,281,828.459
|}
|}



Revision as of 05:28, 2 July 2024

The Connoisseurs of Herbally-Enriched Substances, or C.H.E.S. (IPA: /kʰɛs/), founded in 1743, are an organisation dedicated to maximising their Sterility via the consumption of increasingly elaborate and concentrated tea-based concoctions.

There are various dissolute sects across the world who lay claim to the name of ‘C.H.E.S.’, members of which that possess a Sterility level of at least 114,942,432.044 are dubbed ‘Masters’ and traditionally ranked on the following scale:

C.H.E.S. Mastery Levels
Rank Required Sterility
Master 114,942,432.044
Intranational Master 739,085,572.133
Extranational Master 1,414,213,613.562
Grand Master 2,718,281,828.459

Among C.H.E.S.’s core tenets are:

  • A requirement for each member to imbibe at least 3 cups of tea per day (increased to 3 per hour for Masters and above).
  • A ban on the consumption of coffee.
  • A ban on the killing and consumption of crab.

Known C.H.E.S. Grand Masters include Carlos Søren Magnussen, Nuck Chorris, King Arthur, Sir Timothy Angus McLeod, and Júlio da Silva Fenton-Awnthorpe.