Cute Lil' Cherub
Cute Lil' Cherub
| Birth | 1011 |
| Death | February 1st, 2021 |
| Ability | Child Support |
| Children | ~465 |
| Career | Subversion |
| Known for | Fighting Narcs |
Cute Lil' Cherub was a lead warlord of the Cuman-Kipchak Confederacy from 1191 until the Mongol conquest of the Steppe in 1241. Afterward, it used its cute and friendly appearance to scam and manipulate its way into the royal courts of various Hungarian and Romanian royal houses for centuries. After failing to prevent the establishment of Austria-Hungary in 1867, Cute Lil' Cherub moved to the Free State of the Congo to work for Leopold II of Belgium's colonial government. This tenure did not last long, and in 1869 it was exiled for being too cruel to the Congolese population even for Leopold's standards. Afterwards, it moved to Duala, in what later became German West Africa's Kamerun region. After World War One, it relocated to the Gambia Colony and Protectorate. After working as a jester for Colonial Prime Minister and later Prime Minister Dawda Jawara, Cute Lil' Cherub was sentenced to be hanged by Yahya Jammeh upon his takeover in 1994.
Cute Lil' Cherub was indeed hanged, but did not die. It played dead for approximately 48 hours before being thrown in a dumpster in downtown Banjul. It awoke and worked undercover to subvert the Jammeh regime. It witnessed Dmitriy Gurevich poisoning the Gambian coffee supply with Anthrax in late 2016, but did nothing to intervene.
Content with Adama Barrow's rule in the Gambia, Cute Lil' Cherub became a beach bum, laying in a single beach chair without moving for approximately 4 years. It was finally visited by an American CIA agent in November 2020 with a request by the president of the United States, Crimson Trump for it to become one of the leading agents of the Insurgent Narc Fighter’s League of 8 (INFL8) in the "humanitarian" enforcement of the Orange Lid Act.
In February 2021, Adama Barrow ordered the other members of INFL8 to kill Cute Lil' Cherub to make room for Richard Moriarty. It was kicked to death by the other 7 members over the course of approximately 3 hours of merciless brutality. Its body was flayed and various pieces turned to "lucky jerky" worn by the surviving INFL8 members, and Adama Barrow.
Child Support
Its ability, Child Support, made anyone in its influence think that it was very cute, cuddly, and funny. This influence could only apply to one lifeform at a time, typically a King, Queen, President, or other high magistrate. It would wear off if too much time had passed since exposure to Cute Lil' Cherub's face, which is why most of its strategic moves in life happened after being fired by its chosen leader from a far distance. It had not seen Adama Barrow in person for over a year when the order to kill it came in.