Marco Rubio

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Marco Rubio

Marco Rubio discussing Florida's plan to merge with The Bahamas, 2022.
NameMarco Rubio
BirthMay 28, 1971
CareerUS Senator from Florida, High Prince of The Flahamas
Known forruling The Flahamas, being horrifically burned by Tropical Hellfire Armando

Marco Rubio is a former Senator from the United States and the High Prince of the Principality of The Flahamas.

His charred appearance, which became part of his brand image, was caused by severe burns inflicted by Tropical Hellfire Armando in August 2021.

In 2024, he successfully led a campaign to bring Florida and the Bahamas together as one independent nation, the Principality of the Flahamas. Naturally, he became its High Prince on January 1st, 2025.

Quest for Immortality

During his time as a US Senator in 2022, Rubio met Joaquin De Los Pavos while at a salon in Palm Peach. As Joaquin was looking "radiant," Rubio asked what his skincare routine was, to which Joaquin responded "La fuente."

Curious, Rubio spent many days and nights with Joaquin learning about the power of tobacco and the healing pools of Bimini. Combined, these could cure Rubio's hideous scars and make him "young and beautiful" for centuries. It was here where he conceived the plan to unify Florida and the Bahamas, to gain full access to all the restricted lands in the Bahamas.

His plan seemed far-fetched, but his new PAC the "Mamas for Flahamas Political Action Committee" quickly gained grassroots and corporate support from several entities from both the United States and The Bahamas. After Queen Elizabeth II was granted Super Death in September of 2022, the plan gained further momentum; the newly-crowned King Charles publicly forgot that the Bahamas existed.

The chaotic presidency of Jeffrey Meena and the theatrics of his impending divorce subsumed much of the national conversation about the 2024 United States Presidential Election, and Rubio took this opportunity to create a political party and file for candidacy. In a general election with at least 6 major candidates, the Rubio won the state of Florida's electoral college votes with 39% of the popular vote.

The logistics of getting true independence seemed nigh impossible, but, as fate had had it, two other independence movements also succeeded elsewhere in the country: the Greater Lakes and the Independent Washington, DC movements. With no majority achieved in the electoral college, the fate of the presidency and the independence movements was left to the outcome of the meetings of congress that came to be known as the Compromise of 2024. The outcome was in Rubio's favor.

On Christmas Eve, 2024, Rubio sent 500 yachts full of armed militiamen to fly the new flag of the Flahamas over every island in the Bahamas, and were met with no resistance except for at one island: the ever-desired Bimini.