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Tropical Hellfire Armando
Tropical Hellfire Armando
| Name | Armando |
| Birth | ??? |
| Death | ??? |
| Career | burning |
| Known for | burning (especially in the Flahamas) |
Tropical Hellfire Armando was a sentient wall of fire that appeared in the Atlantic Ocean in August 2021. It barrelled through The Bahamas and much of central Florida over the course of several days, killing thousands and severely burning hundreds of thousands.
The hellfire was specifically targeting the owners and employees of Gucci Bean Haus, which had been attempting to illegally smuggle Gambian coffee to their Cape Canaveral headquarters through the Bahamas. Love Electra and Suzie Quarentino Kepelkeker successfully routed the hellfire, but Suzie was badly burned and the family boat, the RSS Valentin, was severely damaged.
Classification
A region of extreme heat appeared in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean around August 2nd, 2021. There is a chance it could have existed for decades prior in a very small, moving area known to meteorologists as "The Death Blob of the Atlantic." The Death Blob was considered a glitch in radar technology and was not investigated until after it grew into Armando.
As the hellfire reached approximately the size of the US state of Vermont and was on a path toward The Bahamas, the flame was given a name akin to the typical Tropical Storm naming scheme. Meteorologists still generally considered it to be a glitch, so as a joke they called it "Tropical Hellfire Armando."
Path
The hellfire was no joke, however, when it mowed over several of the islands in The Bahamas, cooking all on the surface of the land. Over 1,000 Bahamians were fried in the flame.
The fire, which at first appeared to be waning as it moved to the north, suddenly changed direction and made its way toward the east coast of Florida. It rammed through Cape Canaveral and inland toward Orlando, destroying 30% of the buildings in the prior.
The hellfire was on track to strike Orlando in 12 minutes, until suddenly it arced back around into the Atlantic Ocean, fading back to a negligible blob circling around the mid-Atlantic.
Aftermath
Armando left behind over $25 billion USD in damages, destroying much of the NASA facility in Cape Canaveral, thousands of homes, resorts, and public amenities in Florida and the Bahamas.
Over 2,500 people were dead or missing in The Bahamas, and another 1,900 in Florida. Hospitals were flooded as over 120,000 people reported severe burns from the hellfire. Among these was Senator Marco Rubio, who had been on the beach when Armando arrived, and was cooked from head to toe but survived.
President Jeffrey Meena failed to respond to the crisis, and didn't bring in FEMA and other forms of federal assistance for nearly a month. After outcry grew, a frustrated Meena, who was dealing with complex foreign policy issues in Panama at the time, sent in a cadre of 1,500 federal U.S. Army troops and two battleships full of US Navy sailors, to govern directly over the disaster zone. This was one of the inciting incidents to the Flahamas Movement.