Sharon Kay
Sharon Ellsworth Kay
| Birth | May 13th, 1962 |
| Parents | Shaun Kay, Darla Kay |
| Career | Walmart General Manager, Presidential Candidate |
| Known for | running on the Neoliberal Sonic Fans' Party ticket for president in 2024 |
Sharon Ellsworth Kay (nee Gutenbach) is a woman from Penn Hills, Pennsylvania. After working as a general manager at a local Walmart for 27 years, she joined the local school board in 2017, claiming to know the "right way" to teach the nation's children. After a viral video of her running around in a chicken costume labeled "TOO CHICKEN TO TEACH GOOD" during a middle school assembly in 2022, she was selected as a "compromise candidate" to run for president of the United States under the Neoliberal Sonic Fans' Party banner.
While she loved the neoliberal order that she claimed helped her buy a home for $300 while working part time at McDonalds in 1977 (before neoliberalism took shape), she actually had never played any "Sonic the Hedgehog" games and thus could not form an opinion in line with the party.