Nuck Chorris

Nuck Chorris

Birth	Mid 17th century
Parents	Nuck Chorris Senior, mother unknown
Career	C.H.E.S.
Known for	Tea

Traits

Species	Immortal human
Provenance	Scottish
Height	5' 8
Weight	862 lbs
Eye Colour	A deep brown, like tea
Sterility	Enormous
Dimension	-17i

His Eminence Nuck Chorris II is the founder and acting Grand Vizier of the Sultanate of North-East Orkney and a C.H.E.S. Grand Master.

Life

Born to a farmer also named Nuck Chorris and an unknown mother near Inverness, Scotland, in the mid 17th century, Nuck Junior was always fascinated with tea, which had recently been introduced to Britain. Due to his low status, however, this holy beverage was sadly ever out of his reach. Struck with poverty and having suffered a near-death experience at the age of 16 during a terrible famine, young Nuck, frustrated, eloped from his father’s farm.

A Fated Encounter

On a fog-ridden September night, he happened upon a travelling salesman, whom he robbed for all his belongings, among which was a singular pouch of black tea, which he promptly resolved to drink. Nuck, having never actually made tea before, and believing its preparation to be more akin to that of a stew, let it steep until early October, for about 34 days, before considering it ready. Having exhausted the salesman’s supplies after but a single week, and with nary a bite to eat for the remainder of the month, it was a time during which only his desire for tea kept him alive.

When once starved Nuck imbibed the entirety of his terrible concoction in a single swig, the combination of a pronounced lack of nutrients in his body coupled with the sterility-inducing properties of oversteeped tea rendered the boy extrasterile. Reinvigorated, he returned to his fathers farm, claimed it for his own, and direct all of his attention towards a singular purpose: the production of tea.

Using arcane sterility rituals he devised himself, he succeeded in cross-breeding the remainder of the salesman’s leaves with local the local flora; this attracted the attention of the local lord, who demanded he resume growing wheat and barley as his father did before him. Having exhausted most of his sterility in creating a vile plant he dared call tea, Nuck had no choice but to flee Inverness and resolved to head to a place no-one cared to follow him to: the Isle of Orkney.

Grand Vizier of Orkney

Settling in the north-east of it, he began growing his tea. By the end of the following year, Nuck’s sterility had grown to surpass that of the rest of Scotland combined. He then declared the Sultanate of North-East Orkney naming himself Grand Vizier—without so much as a shred of understanding as to what a ‘sultan’ actually was—a title he continues to hold to this day.

At some point later in life, an aged Nuck was feeling his body grow wearier with each passing day. Disgusted by his own weakness, he set out in search for a possible solution, locking himself into his study chamber for seven months and seven days, with only a barrel of tea to keep him company. Ere long, he arrived at an epiphany: simply imbibing the tea was not enough; he had to become one with the tea. Enlightened, he conducted a ritual to replace all the blood in his body with tea, gaining immortality in the process.