Eruption of Mount Vesuvius

Eruption of Mount Vesuvius

Date	Autumn of 79 AD
Location	Pompeii
Death Toll	5000–10000
Damage	Total destruction of the cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum
Perpetrator	Senator Pomponianus
Involved	Pliny the Elder

The ‘Eruption’ of Mount Vesuvius was a violent explosion in Ancient Rome resulting from a contact of an slightly-above-average-fertile individual with a Sterility Nadir—an event that was misconstrued by the people of the time as a volcanic eruption, and which visited death and destruction upon the cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum.

History

In autumn of the year 79, Pliny the Elder ventured deep into the catacombs below Mount Vesuvius, having spent years perfecting a technique to utilise fertility to guard himself against the dangers within. After a long and arduous journey, he returned to the surface, barely alive, but through his adventure having become a better man.

The following day, his friend Pomponianus, himself possessing a measly fertility level of about 2.27, wanted to see what all the fuss was about and set foot into the catacombs. When his fertility came into contact with the sterility of the catacombs, the resulting chain reaction tore apart Mount Vesuvius, killing Pomponianus instantly, and obliterating Pompeii and Herculaneum in a matter of seconds. Pliny the Elder, still weakened from his expedition, died in Pompeii that very day.

Aftermath

Roman historians would later fabricate a story to redact what had actually happened, in the hopes of preventing other fools like Pomponianus from coming along and causing another explosion. To that end, the catacombs of Mount Vesuvius were sealed as well.

Though, at first, some of the survivors of the tragic incident shewed resistance to the cover-up tale devised by their peers, in time, the truth faded into distant memory and was eventually forgotten, with only arcane records kept deep in the libraries of the Vatican and Antivatican left to relate what had actually transpired.