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The Caffeinated Death of 2016
Date | November 30, 2016 |
Location | Gambia |
Death Toll | 562 |
Perpetrator | Dmitriy Gurevich |
The Caffeinated Death of 2016, commonly called The Great Caffeinated Death occurred on November 30, 2016 was the day that marked the end of coffee in Gambia. It is a result of the Kepelkeker Farms Scandal.There were many people indirectly involved but the 'mastermind' behind the event was know as Dmitriy Gurevich. In Dmitriy's manifesto, he explains that his life long hatred of coffee and his uncle, Yosef Romanov's obsession with is was what drove him to do such a drastic thing. Planning the end of coffee in Gambia took Dmitriy many months and growing special types of coffee plant which were literally just normal coffee plants with anthrax on them.
The true key to his plan was not to just kill people with anthrax, Dmitriy was playing a political game, which by some definitions would make him a terrorist. His plan involved the current Gambian president, Yahya Jammeh's policy of promoting the importing of coffee beans that specifically used pesticides and his opponent, Adama Barrow who had a strict policy of banning all coffee in Gambia. Obviously, Dmitriy needed Adama to win but Yahya was already in his fifth presidential term in a row and it looked like he was going to win again. Dmitriy sought out to change that.
In order to smear Yahya's image and boost Adama's image at the same time, Dmitriy needed to destroy the public opinion of coffee in order to get Adama elected to ban all coffee. He carried out his final plan while on a trip with Yosef to the Gambia, he 'helped' Yosef by offering to take care of the coffee that would be sent to all of the KOMBOs in Gambia the next morning. But before the shipment could go out he would need to hack into the president, Yahya Jammeh's palace and release Liquid Bean to distract Solid Bean while the anthrax coffee was making it's way through Gambia. Unknown to Dmitriy when he released Liquid Bean, he also let out the Corporeal Beast but it's presence caught the attention of the ghost king Gak who captured it for it's fertility granting powers, unknowingly helping Dmitriy. The following battle between Solid and Liquid bean would last for hours, which was enough time for all of the coffee to arrive at the KOMBOs before Solid Bean could regain his strength which is when Yahya knew he had his hands tied and was forced to send the Gambian Air Force to destroy all of the KOMBOs before the coffee could be sold.
The next day, December 1 2016, current president Yahya Jammeh had already resigned, but just before being stripped and burned at the stake outside of his mansion. Adama Barrow an hour later would literally be thrown into office and his anti-coffee policy in Gambia went into effect immediately.
Soon after, an angered Sioux Red Jr. founded the Coffee Liberation Front, which has caused civil war in the Gambia since.