Star Wars X: Ascent of Maul
Star Wars Episode X: Ascent of Maul is a film released by Meena Productions on August 12th, 2026. It was written and directed by filmmaker and President of the United States, Jeffrey Meena.
Context
Jeffrey Meena was an outspoken fan of the Disney Star Wars sequel trilogy, citing Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker as his favorite film of all time on a regular basis. In fact, during Meena's second inauguration speech on January 20th, 2025, he quoted The Rise of Skywalker 41 times. Most notably, immediately after approaching his podium, he boldy declared "Somehow, Meena returned."
The 2024 United States Presidential Election was very contentious, and it took over a month to confirm that Meena would be the next president. However, the controversies and bad blood garnered during the Compromise of 2024 made it apparent to Meena that his impeachment would begin immediately after the beginning of his second term. Thus, during the lame duck period before the secession of several states from the Union, Meena launched a federal antitrust investigation against The Walt Disney Company, specifically for its "monopolization of sequels."
Meena pushed through the antitrust suit with the support of the seceding states' senators and representatives and the Supreme Court. By February 9th, 2025, Disney was forced to give up Lucasfilms, which Meena proceeded to buy for $3.8 Billion dollars of his own personal fortune, approximately 48% of his net worth at the time.
Lucasfilms, Ltd. was subsumed into Meena Productions and Star Wars creator George Lucas was hired as a "propaganda liason." Jeffrey Meena, who had already written the screenplay for Episode 10 while on the campaign trail in 2024, announced from the Resolute Desk of the White House that production on a tenth Star Wars movie was underway and that it would use approximately $550,000,000 of Social Security Revenue and would film on-site at several military bases throughout the United States.
Jeffrey Meena's impeachment trial occurred at the end of February, and, with several of his supporters having seceded from the United States in January 2025, he was easily convicted and removed from office - a first for the American presidency. His Vice President, Harlow Tinfoil, became the president. A close ally to Meena's movement, President Tinfoil pardoned Meena and "struck a deal" with Meena Productions to speed up production on Star Wars 10, "to promote national unity." This deal included three more military bases and an additional $400,000,000, taken from the Medicare Budget. George Lucas was brought on as the head of the new "Department of Star Wars," a Senate-confirmed Cabinet Position that would be set as the 6th position in the Presidential Line of Succession.
With that, Star Wars Episode 10 had a screenplay, several sets, and nearly $1 Billion in federal funding.
Premise
The film, whose screenplay faced no revisions or proofreading, revolves around Kylo Ren (who didn't actually die) joining Rey Skywalker and Luke Skywalker (who didn't actually die) to defeat Darth Maul (who didn't actually die) and prevent him and his army of ex-Imperial space pirates from plundering the "Sacred Jedi Booty" hidden within one of the twin suns of Tattooine.
Plot
The film opens with a fleet of Imperial Star Destroyers escaping from the planet of Geonosis. Despite Emperor Palpatine's defeat, this fleet was dead-set on continuing its mission to conquer the galaxy. A Storm Trooper makes a call to a mysterious recipient, asking the figure "My Lord, what is your Next Order?" The figure replies "In due time, in due time."
15 years later, Rey Skywalker, Kylo Ren, and Luke Skywalker are eating breakfast in the new home built upon the foundations of Uncle Owen's old house on Tattooine. Rey and Kylo's son, Luca, comes rolling in from his most recent Pod Racing victory and opens the door.
Reception
The film was widely panned by critics, receiving a 12% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a 43% audience score. Film critic Misty Flylnne described the film as "an atrocity on the eyes, ears, and cultural canon of western society." YouTube film critic Dirty Jimbo said in his review of the film: "I thought Star Wars had already died. But apparently, just like Darth Maul, some things can just be resurrected over and over again like a smelly, rotten puppet."
Nevertheless, the film grossed over $1.8 Billion dollars worldwide in the first month. With such a resounding financial success, Meena immediately announced another two films to complete a fourth trilogy.