Gambian Holiday Wiki - User contributions [en-gb]

Hesturn Occult Research Labs

2026-06-13T06:35:53Z

King Horror: /* Boy Next Door (Holding Out For a Hero) */

{{ORGANIZATION
|title = Hesturn Occult Research Labs
|founded = August 2005
|founders = Silvia Hesturn, Jean Duffle
|time_period = 2005–2036
|image = HORL.png
}}

'''Hesturn Occult Research Labs''' (H.O.R.L.) is a French research facility that studies and experiments with the ''[[Fertility|supernatural]]'' properties of the Universe. Their most notable achievement is the creation of the [[(-8.345731467w + H)|Hesturn Anomaly]] which also lead to the [[2036 Sinking of Burong|Eighth Sinking of Burong]] in 2036.

== A Lesson in Courtship ==
In 2005, after [[Silvia Hesturn]] graduated [[Quimperlé United Institute of Technicalities]] with an associates degree in both mythology and rudimentary science. Him and his roommate [[Jean Duffle]] founded the Hesturn Occult Research Labs in their one-bedroom apartment. Their first project was to find a way to restore Jean's fertility which he had lost in unknown circumstances. At first, they could only access basic over-the-counter remedies such as [[SOLNS]], Aunt Jemima's pancake syrup and coffee-based caffeine tablets. In their first months of research, they found that a combination of SOLNS and caffeine extracted from Gambian [[coffee]] were able to boost Jean's fertility by an acceptable amount for a few hours. From this, they concluded that the source of SOLNS and caffeine could hold secrets of the universe and it was under these daft assumptions that Silvia began writing the [[H.O.R.L. Super Truth Journal]]. The journal would be edited and published annually by [[BBB]] and marketed towards.

After another year of research and Jean working part-time at Nespresso, they could both afford to travel to the source of the world's best coffee and cheap SOLNS, the Gambia. By taking advantage of a loophole in Disney's Cruise Line rewards program that gave heavy discounts to disabled children and families of Gulf War veterans, the two were able to travel from France to the Gambia for just 15 Euros. While traveling up the The Gambia Rivea, Silvia and Jean randomly ran into a group of [[Coffee Haus Mages|wizards]] that allowed them to study their artifacts and read their scriptures in exchange for their own knowledge of fertility. But once the wizards discovered that the Hesturn Super Truth Journal was nothing but "an excruciatingly false and below-elementary level of understanding of fertility", the mages wiped their memory and set the value of Silvia's fertility to just U+0415, which effectively destroyed his fertility and became a meme to whoever read his fertility.

== Mid-Life Dissolution (Don't Grind Coffee Beans at 3 A.M.) ==
With absolutely nothing achieved, Silvia and Jean began planning a return to France but had trouble when they were banned from all Disney parks and cruise lines as well as having warrants for their arrest in the United States for defrauding the [[Make-A-Wish Foundation]]. Eventually, they managed to work their way back to France on a Russian fishing boat full of coffee captained by a man named [[Aleksey Pivovarov]]. Back in the lab again, Silvia completely restarted his research and took to a different approach of calling up deities, but no progress was made with the rituals Silvia had learned from the deep web. One night of sleepless research, when Silvia was making coffee from some of the coffee the Russian fisherman had given them, Silvia suddenly entered his [[Dream Realm|dream realm]]. Screaming. Silvia experienced being within his own destroyed fertility with two anthropomorphic beasts gawking at him. Silvia awoke screaming, next to Jean who was also screaming. He was not just screaming out of fear but of pain from a quantum inversion happening within himself which birthed the two Super Ghosts [[Sköll and Hati]]. Silvia continued to scream as the figures from his nightmares were now in the real world. The screaming went on for the rest of the night.

== Mercurial Honeymoon (Terrorism Isn't Terrorism if You Terrorize Terrorists) ==
Years later, in 2012, after living with Sköll and Hati for 6 years, Silvia had become adept in controlling the beasts and was able to use their powers for his experiments. He primarily used the beasts for frivolous things like robbing grocery stores and counterfeiting money. Eventually, he was able to send the beasts on smuggling missions to the Gambia to bring SOLNS and coffee back to his lab for research. This all went on until the [[The Caffeinated Death of 2016|Great Caffeinated Death of 2016]] when the Gambia stopped producing coffee completely, or at least Silvia thought. One day, [[Mr. Sioux Red]] of [[Coffee Haus 10]] contacted him through a time-rift and offered him a deal of using the beasts for bringing him fertilizer and growing lamps in exchange for coffee. This was all a shock to Silvia and Jean as they thought nobody else knew of their existence, let alone the existence of the beasts. Unknown to them, since their first run-in with the Coffee Haus Mages, they had been observing HORL closely in case they were to do something ''dangerous ''with the weak and completely wrong knowledge they did have.

The HORL and Coffee Haus 10 deal went on well for a few months until members of the [[Decaf Squad|The Decaf Squad]] were able to follow Sköll and Hati back to HORL through a malfunctioning portal. Unaware that they were dealing with divine beings, hundreds of Decaf Squad members surrounded the labs and started making demands but before they could finish, [[Crescent Mani]] and [[The Löwe]] arrived at HORL on completely unrelated business. Crescent Mani interrupted the Decaf Squad and began making demands of his own, that HORL was to release Sköll and Hati by the time of the next full moon, which happened to be about eight months from then. As he left, the Löwe destroyed most of the Decaf Squad members so that Crescent Mani could collected their fertilities in [[Realm of the Dead|+17i]].

Silvia and Jean were now under pressure to finish their work but could never achieve anything in eight month without a steady supply of coffee and needed to do something to regain power in the Gambia. Jean had an idea of assassinating [[Adama Barrow]]'s son [[Habib Barrow]] and even though Sköll and Hati warned him that Habib was extra-fertile and killing him could have unforeseen consequences, Silvia liked the plan of terrorizing their enemy and commanded Sköll and Hati to carry it out anyway. That night, of May 8, 2017, Sköll and Hati traveled to the Gambia and killed Habib. The next day, Adama was outraged and assumed the [[Corporeal Beast]] had killed his son and declared the beast to be the Gambia's second greatest enemy.

== Ultimate Farce (When You Know Nothing Matters, The Universe is Yours) ==
Now, with the Decaf Squad and the rest of the pro-Adama Barrow forces in the Gambia focused on finding the corporeal, Sköll and Hati were able to return to smuggling for Coffee Haus 10 with little resistance from the Decaf Squad. Eventually the eight months passed and on the night of the full moon, Crescent Mani appeared again to take Sköll and Hati away and Silvia complied. Before they left, Hati granted silvia the power [[Intercontrivity Overbooster]] which gave him the power to contact [[FUR-E]] beasts and basically over-simplified all quantum processes so that Silvia could understand them. Soon after the beasts were gone and before they could resume smuggling runs, Coffe Haus 10 fell and HORL was without any connection to get Gambian coffee. Silvia had gained what was to him, vast knowledge of fertility and started researching a way to make a portal like Sköll and Hati always did.

Through what appeared to be coincidence, an American man named [[Stefan Degrassi]] contacted Silvia to offer to teach him a 'purer' form of fertility, [[sterility]]. Only because of his ability was Silvia able to understand the offer and he accepted. Silvia and Jean were now challenged with finding a way to California in the United States with only about $40 which Jean had received as a birthday present from his mother. After days of browsing the deep web, they found a promising group, the [[Church|Church of Lusitania Ascension]] which offered a completely free trans-Atlantic journey for all members annually from the port in Cherbourg-Octeville, north of labs. The only catch they could find is that it had no specific destination but it was a good start since it was completely free. Silvia and Jean both signed up for the group and started their hitching journey from Quimper to Octeville by the deadline of April 25.

== This Chicken Tastes Like Steak But My Wife Ain't Complaining ==
On April 24, HORL arrived at the meeting spot of the group which was crowded with people in a mixture of white robes and early 1900's clothes; Silvia and Jean did not stick out at all. Early in the next morning, everyone was woken by [[Lusitania]] entering the harbor. Everyone bowed down and praised the ship including the HORL boys, they assumed it was out of respect for the free ride. After the group entered the ship, the mood lightened as people started parting like it was 1915. After a week on the Pacific, when the ship was in the middle of the journey, the rest of the people in the group began praising the ship again but this time tearing off their own clothes and speaking and tongues. Not soon after the chaos began, the ship began to ''sink ''into a space-time rift which Silvia could only perceive as a whirlpool because of his ability, nevertheless, he still panicked and called upon the FUR-Es for assistance. [[Tyr]] appeared before Silvia and Jean and before they could explain anything, Tyr took Jean and disappeared, leaving Silvia alone on the ''sinking'' ship. All other calls Silvia made to the FUR-Es for assistance were never answered.

'''"I ain't see no wife like your wife since a man show me his GAMBIA WIFE, Silvia" - Stefan Degrassi'''

Silvia awoke sitting at a table with Stefan Degrassi, Tyr, the Corporeal Beast and Jean inside of [[Stefan Degrassi's Chicken'n Steak]]. Screaming.

== Boy Next Door (Holding Out For a Hero) ==
As Silvia and Jean were enjoying Chicken'n Steak with Stefan in California, back in France at the labs, the HORL Super Computer, a conglomerate of nearly 12,000 old Dell brand Inspiron Laptops was in the middle of its monthly deep-learning cycle of "back-propogating" every instance of gay pornography off of the Internet and analyzing it for possible fertility boosting properties. This went on normally until the system detected a large burst of fertility energy coming from the Great Barrier Reef. It wasn't just an ordinary burst of energy but was an encrypted message that the computer began trying to decode, but this was difficult with 30 million instances of 'Boy Next Door' videos playing simultaneously. The decoding would have to wait until Silvia or Jean returned to the lab.[[Category:Organizations]]

La-Attitude

2026-06-10T14:41:31Z

King Horror:

{{Biography|title1 = La-Attitude|name = Motsu Natsuki|career = Coffee Haus 4 Operator|image1 = attitude.jpg|known_for = Singer and Rap Game
Coffee Haus 4}}La-Attitude is a singer, rapper and coffee enthusiast. He is the operator and co-owner of [[Coffee Haus 4]] in the Gambia which he created after he went on a [[Gambian Holiday]] and discovered how great [[coffee]] could be. His works are said to have inspired other artists such as [[Lil Mill]] and [[Big Money Gambia]].{{Ability|title1 = Night of Fire|trait = Greatly increases musical abilities. Also can make things hot or catch fire.|origin = Sold by Baja Jeb|power = 2|rarity = Common|destructive_power = 3}}He possesses the ability '''Night of Fire''' which boosts his musical talent as well as heat things up such as coffee. He obtained this ability from [[Baja Jeb]].

He died in the [[Battle of Gambian Tributary Number Twelve]] along with Coffee Haus 4. His soul is currently in [[Realm of the Dead|+17i]].
[[Category:People]]

File:Cants a.png

2026-06-10T14:35:34Z

King Horror:

Cants A

2026-06-10T14:35:06Z

King Horror: Created page with "{{Biography|title1 = Cants A|image1 = cants a.png|caption1 = Cants A, 1939 colorized|name = Cants A|parents = ???|spouse = ???|children = Cantsbee, 196 others|known_for = sentience}} Cants A (1907-1979) was the oldest known mountain gorilla and leader of the largest tribe of gorillas known in the world, numbering over 2,000 by the late 1950s. He was the father of Cantsbee, who took over the tribe for him after his death. He was given human-level intelligence by Darby..."

{{Biography|title1 = Cants A|image1 = cants a.png|caption1 = Cants A, 1939 colorized|name = Cants A|parents = ???|spouse = ???|children = Cantsbee, 196 others|known_for = sentience}}
Cants A (1907-1979) was the oldest known mountain gorilla and leader of the largest tribe of gorillas known in the world, numbering over 2,000 by the late 1950s. He was the father of Cantsbee, who took over the tribe for him after his death.

He was given human-level intelligence by [[Darby "Crumbleboy" Hatfield]] in 1908 after they developed a friendship from other sides of the fence at the [[Heart of Darkness]] prison for vivimancers.

Mud Bubby

2026-06-10T14:32:52Z

King Horror:

{{Biography|title1 = Mud Bubby|image1 = Muddd.png|caption1 = MUD BUBBY|name = MUD BUBBY|parents = MUD BUBBY(s)|spouse = MUD BUBBY(s)|children = MUD BuBBiES|known_for = MUD}}
Mud Bubby is a small blue dragon sea slug from Kunashiri, Japan. She is the Super Ghost of the Kuril Islands in Japan and eastern Russia. She feeds off of fertility from beach lifeforms and dolphins and has the ability to cause colorblindness to the color magenta.
[[Category:People]]

Heart of Darkness

2026-06-10T14:22:28Z

King Horror: Created page with "The Heart of Darkness was a high-security prison for "vivimancers" in German East Africa from 1902-1918. It was established by German Reichskommissar [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustav_Adolf_von_G%C3%B6tzen Gustav Adolf von Götzen] and American President Theodore Roosevelt, both of whom were huge fans of the novel [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_of_Darkness Heart of Darkness] by Joseph Conrad. Both had an interest in storing dangerous individuals far away from..."

The Heart of Darkness was a high-security prison for "vivimancers" in German East Africa from 1902-1918.

It was established by German Reichskommissar [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustav_Adolf_von_G%C3%B6tzen Gustav Adolf von Götzen] and American President Theodore Roosevelt, both of whom were huge fans of the novel [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_of_Darkness Heart of Darkness] by Joseph Conrad. Both had an interest in storing dangerous individuals far away from the cores of their empires, primarily those who were interested in giving sentience to non-human animals, plants, and fungi.

It was dismantled by mid-1919 by the new British government of Tanganyika led by Sir Horace Byatt, who thought sentient animals would be "jolly good."

==Notable Inmates==
* [[Darby "Crumbleboy" Hatfield]] (1904-1909)
*

Darby "Crumbleboy" Hatfield

2026-06-09T20:46:37Z

King Horror:

{{Biography|title1 = Darby Hatfield|image1 = darby.png|caption1 = Hatfield during his time as a Civil War medic, 1861|name = Darby Hatfield|birth = 1801|spouse = none|children = approximately 47,000 sentient animals, plants, and fungi|career = Vivimancy}}

Darby “Crumbleboy” Hatfield (1801-1909) was a doctor and mad scientist who served as a medic for the 17th Michigan during the United States Civil War. He abandoned his post after experiencing “electricity” during the Battle of Antietam.

From there, he used his newfound talents to bring sentience to wild animals in Confederate territory.
He was taken captive at the Belle Isle military prison in 1863 after animating the first [[Not Deer]].
In a Virginia newspaper, he stated that his goal was to “create an army of freedom-fighting forest critters.” In prison, Hatfield experienced brutal conditions, and passed his time granting sentience to various squirrels, chipmunks, bats, wild pigs, and coyotes. One such coyote was “the chupacabra,” according to Hatfield, although nobody had any idea what he was talking about.

During the chaos of the Battle of Walkerton in February of 1864, Hatfield was captured by a group of vampires called the [[All-American Suckers]] who were working on behalf of Abraham Lincoln to eradicate all non-human sentient life.
He was brought covertly across enemy lines to Washington, DC and was presented directly to Abraham Lincoln. Hatfield was to refrain from his activities, as a matter of national security.

After the Civil War, Hatfield returned to his home in West Virginia to participate in the Hatfield-McCoy feud.

After the assassination of President William McKinley in 1901, [[Robert Todd Lincoln]], son of the late Abraham Lincoln, found Hatfield in his lair along the Cheat River near Rowlesburg, West Virginia to conscript him to create a race of sentient flowers to protect the White House from what he saw as his personal curse (being present for every US presidential assassination and attempt up to this point). The flowers, mostly roses, were made sentient. President Theodore Roosevelt noticed this in the summer of 1904 and proceeded to kill all of them and preserve them in formaldehyde. Roosevelt ordered Hatfield, now 103 years old, to be sent to German East Africa. There he was imprisoned in the [[Heart of Darkness]], a high security prison for “vivimancers.”
There, for the remaining years of his life, Hatfield imbued several tribes of mountain gorillas with sentience. The leader of one tribe was known as [[Cants A]], father of the famous ape leader Cantsbee.

He died in 1909 after conscripting an army of moths and flies to raise him into the sky so he could “reach heaven.” The operation was interrupted by a breeze of approximately 5 miles per hour, sending Hatfield falling to his death from a height of approximately 7 feet.

File:Darby.png

2026-06-09T20:44:12Z

King Horror:

Darby "Crumbleboy" Hatfield

2026-06-09T20:43:56Z

King Horror:

{{Biography|title1 = Darby Hatfield|image1 = darby.png|caption1 = Hatfield during his time as a Civil War medic, 1861|name = Darby Hatfield|birth = 1801|spouse = none|children = approximately 47,000 sentient animals, plants, and fungi|career = Vivimancy}}

Darby “Crumbleboy” Hatfield (1801-1909) was a doctor and mad scientist who served as a medic for the 17th Michigan during the United States Civil War. He abandoned his post after experiencing “electricity” during the Battle of Antietam.

From there, he used his newfound talents to bring sentience to wild animals in Confederate territory.
He was taken captive at the Belle Isle military prison in 1863 after animating the first [[Not Deer]].
In a Virginia newspaper, he stated that his goal was to “create an army of freedom-fighting forest critters.” In prison, Hatfield experienced brutal conditions, and passed his time granting sentience to various squirrels, chipmunks, bats, wild pigs, and coyotes. One such coyote was “the chupacabra,” according to Hatfield, although nobody had any idea what he was talking about.

During the chaos of the Battle of Walkerton in February of 1864, Hatfield was captured by a group of vampires called the [[All-American Suckers]] who were working on behalf of Abraham Lincoln to eradicate all non-human sentient life.
He was brought covertly across enemy lines to Washington, DC and was presented directly to Abraham Lincoln. Hatfield was to refrain from his activities, as a matter of national security.

After the Civil War, Hatfield returned to his home in West Virginia to participate in the Hatfield-McCoy feud.

After the assassination of President William McKinley in 1901, [[Robert Todd Lincoln]], son of the late Abraham Lincoln, found Hatfield in his lair along the Cheat River near Rowlesburg, West Virginia to conscript him to create a race of sentient flowers to protect the White House from what he saw as his personal curse (being present for every US presidential assassination and attempt up to this point). The flowers, mostly roses, were made sentient. President Theodore Roosevelt noticed this in the summer of 1904 and proceeded to kill all of them and preserve them in formaldehyde. Roosevelt ordered Hatfield, now 103 years old, to be sent to German East Africa. There he was imprisoned in the Heart of Darkness, a high security prison for “vivimancers.”
There, for the remaining years of his life, Hatfield imbued several tribes of mountain gorillas with sentience. The leader of one tribe was known as [[Cants A]], father of the famous ape leader Cantsbee.

He died in 1909 after conscripting an army of moths and flies to raise him into the sky so he could “reach heaven.” The operation was interrupted by a breeze of approximately 5 miles per hour, sending Hatfield falling to his death from a height of approximately 7 feet.

Captain Jacques Spereaux

2026-06-09T18:23:30Z

King Horror:

{{Biography|title1 = Jacques Spereaux|image1 = captain.jpg|caption1 = Spereaux with his Entangled Form, Crunch|name = Jacques Spereaux|birth = 1895|spouse = Amelia Earhart|children = Meet-The-Real-Son-Of-Amelia-Earhart Spereaux|career = Guano Piracy}}"Captain" Jacques Spereaux is a French-Mexican pirate with an Entangled Form, a dog-type that he named Crunch. Headquartered in the semi-unclaimed island of Clipperton in the Pacific Ocean, he used its main natural resource, guano, and his ability to decrease the physical phenomenon of buoyancy, to engage in piracy in the eastern Pacific Ocean.

In 1940, he met Amelia Earhart, the pilot who went missing while attempting to fly over the Pacific Ocean. He offered her a service she could not refuse- a chance at beginning a new life. Their brief, unofficial "marriage" culminated in her assuming the identity of a New Jersey woman named Irene Craigmile Bolam, only after their one year relationship produced a child.

Trying to profit off budding conspiracy theories about the survival of Earhart, Spereaux didn't give his child a name, bringing him to vacation towns along the Gulf of California, in a tourist trap called "Meet The REAL Son Of Amelia Earhart!!!" After the initial hype of the theory wore off and the American and Mexican public became more concerned with World War 2, Spereaux had his son christened as [[Meet-The-Real-Son-Of-Amelia-Earhart Spereaux]], and sent him off to live in a Catholic Monastery in Durango under the tutelage of Father [[Eusebio Chanclas Borrador de Santa Ana]].

Spereaux continued his guano capers throughout the 20th century, being apparently genuinely confused as to why his aging process seemed to be so slow. After meddling with the diplomatic relations between Papua New Guinea and New Caledonia in 2018, he met a new adversary, a couple of [[False Reflection|False Reflections]] named [[Waffle Man]] and Woman of Beer.

In the [[Bougainville Mixup of 2024]], Spereaux successfully murdered Waffle Man in broad daylight, though he remained extant.

From there he negotiated with the [[Bean Boarders]] to gain access to the Panama Canal and began claiming various guano-coated Cays in the Caribbean. Eventually he set up shop on the island of [[Bimini]], where he quickly came into conflict with [[Marco Rubio]] and the [[Fountain of Youth]]. He joined forces with the keeper of the Bimini Healing Pool, [[Super Barbarossa]], to keep Rubio from accessing immortality.

[[Category:People]]

Bimini

2026-06-09T18:18:54Z

King Horror:

Bimini was an island cluster in the [[Principality of The Flahamas]]. Biminian separatists serving the guano pirate [[Captain Jacques Spereaux]] fought viciously to maintain the archipelago's independence from [[Marco Rubio]] and the [[Fountain of Youth]] in early 2025.

Bimini

2026-06-09T18:18:39Z

King Horror: Created page with "Bimini was an island cluster in the Principality of the Flahamas. Biminian separatists serving the guano pirate Captain Jacques Spereaux fought viciously to maintain the archipelago's independence from Marco Rubio and the Fountain of Youth in early 2025."

Bimini was an island cluster in the [[Principality of the Flahamas]]. Biminian separatists serving the guano pirate [[Captain Jacques Spereaux]] fought viciously to maintain the archipelago's independence from [[Marco Rubio]] and the [[Fountain of Youth]] in early 2025.

Mamas for Flahamas Political Action Committee

2026-06-08T16:29:57Z

King Horror:

The Mamas For Flahamas Political Action Committee, often called MamaFlahamaPAC online, is a political action committee and fund aggregator that was established to help Florida join with the Bahamas and declare independence from the United States.
During its critical period from 2022-2026, it was led by [[Carol Christhammer Clap]].

Mamas for Flahamas Political Action Committee

2026-06-08T16:29:42Z

King Horror: Created page with "The Mamas For Flahamas Politicl Action Committee, often called MamaFlahamaPAC online, is a political action committee and fund aggregator that was established to help Florida join with the Bahamas and declare independence from the United States. During its critical period from 2022-2026, it was led by Carol Christhammer Clap."

The Mamas For Flahamas Politicl Action Committee, often called MamaFlahamaPAC online, is a political action committee and fund aggregator that was established to help Florida join with the Bahamas and declare independence from the United States.
During its critical period from 2022-2026, it was led by [[Carol Christhammer Clap]].

Star Wars X: Ascent of Maul

2026-06-08T16:26:08Z

King Horror: /* Plot */

Star Wars Episode X: Ascent of Maul is a film released by [[Meena Productions]] on August 12th, 2026. It was written and directed by filmmaker and President of the United States, [[Jeffrey Meena]].

==Context==
Jeffrey Meena was an outspoken fan of the Disney ''Star Wars'' sequel trilogy, citing ''[http://Star%20Wars%20IX:%20The%20Rise%20of%20Skywalker Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker]'' as his favorite film of all time on a regular basis. In fact, during Meena's second inauguration speech on January 20th, 2025, he quoted The Rise of Skywalker 41 times. Most notably, immediately after approaching his podium, he boldy declared "Somehow, Meena returned."

The [[2024 United States Presidential Election]] was very contentious, and it took over a month to confirm that Meena would be the next president. However, the controversies and bad blood garnered during the [[Compromise of 2024]] made it apparent to Meena that his impeachment would begin immediately after the beginning of his second term. Thus, during the lame duck period before the secession of several states from the Union, Meena launched a federal antitrust investigation against [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The%20Walt%20Disney%20Company The Walt Disney Company], specifically for its "monopolization of sequels."

Meena pushed through the antitrust suit with the support of the seceding states' senators and representatives and the Supreme Court. By February 9th, 2025, Disney was forced to give up Lucasfilms, which Meena proceeded to buy for $3.8 Billion dollars of his own personal fortune, approximately 48% of his net worth at the time.

Lucasfilms, Ltd. was subsumed into Meena Productions and Star Wars creator George Lucas was hired as a "propaganda liason." Jeffrey Meena, who had already written the screenplay for Episode 10 while on the campaign trail in 2024, announced from the Resolute Desk of the White House that production on a tenth Star Wars movie was underway and that it would use approximately $550,000,000 of Social Security Revenue and would film on-site at several military bases throughout the United States.

Jeffrey Meena's impeachment trial occurred at the end of February, and, with several of his supporters having seceded from the United States in January 2025, he was easily convicted and removed from office - a first for the American presidency. His Vice President, [[Harlow Tinfoil]], became the president. A close ally to Meena's movement, President Tinfoil pardoned Meena and "struck a deal" with Meena Productions to speed up production on Star Wars 10, "to promote national unity." This deal included three more military bases and an additional $400,000,000, taken from the Medicare Budget. George Lucas was brought on as the head of the new "Department of Star Wars," a Senate-confirmed Cabinet Position that would be set as the 6th position in the Presidential Line of Succession.

With that, Star Wars Episode 10 had a screenplay, several sets, and nearly $1 Billion in federal funding.

==Premise==
The film, whose screenplay faced no revisions or proofreading, revolves around Kylo Ren (who didn't actually die) joining Rey Skywalker and Luke Skywalker (who didn't actually die) to defeat Darth Maul (who didn't actually die) and prevent him and his army of ex-Imperial space pirates from plundering the "Sacred Jedi Booty" hidden within one of the twin suns of Tattooine.

==Plot==
The film opens with a fleet of Imperial Star Destroyers escaping from the planet of Geonosis. Despite Emperor Palpatine's defeat, this fleet was dead-set on continuing its mission to conquer the galaxy. A Storm Trooper makes a call to a mysterious recipient, asking the figure "My Lord, what is your Next Order?" The figure replies "In due time, in due time."

15 years later, Rey Skywalker, Kylo Ren, and Luke Skywalker are eating breakfast in the new home built upon the foundations of Uncle Owen's old house on Tattooine. Rey and Kylo's son, Luca, comes rolling in from his most recent Pod Racing victory and proclaims that he wants to go to the Third Republic Pilot Training School. The family congratulates him, and Luke offers to take Luca to a special place to celebrate his career choice.

They travel to the planet Hoth, where they reunite with an elderly Po Damerin. Po takes the crew to the site of a massive battle in the olden days, but when they get there, they see several newly activated AT-ATs. The groups attempts to escape, but Luca falls to the ground and is trapped in a Force Bubble by a masked figure. Through laser blasts and snow this figure approaches, revealing himself to be none other than Darth Maul.
Maul proclaims that Luca is vital to the fulfillment of the plans of the "Next Order," a reestablishment of the Old Republic from before the Clone Wars.

The crew embarks on a galaxy-spanning journey to rescue Luca and prove to the citizens of the galaxy that the Third Republic is a massive improvement on the hubris and corruption of the Old Republic.

At the end of the second act, Po Damerin gets dramatically chopped in half by Maul's assistant, Darth Ahsoka.

The group reconvenes and is inspired by meeting Rada the Hutt, who brings his droid army in the group's support to an impending battle on Naboo.

During this final, underwater battle, all hope seems lost, until an army of Nabooboos led by Snarlo Binks (daughter of Jar Jar Binks) comes to save the day. Darth Maul loses his hand and retreats, but Luca is saved after reveals he is sensitive to the force. In a post-credits scene, Naboo falls to the Next Order and Snarlo's army flees the planet for the Outer Rim.

==Reception==
The film was widely panned by critics, receiving a 12% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a 43% audience score. Film critic Misty Flylnne described the film as "an atrocity on the eyes, ears, and cultural canon of western society." YouTube film critic [[Dirty Jimbo]] said in his review of the film: "I thought Star Wars had already died. But apparently, just like Darth Maul, some things can just be resurrected over and over again like a smelly, rotten puppet."

Nevertheless, the film grossed over $1.8 Billion dollars worldwide in the first month. With such a resounding financial success, Meena immediately announced another two films to complete a fourth trilogy.

Department of Star Wars

2026-06-08T16:12:09Z

King Horror:

The Department of Star Wars is an executive department of the U.S. federal government responsible for the management of Star Wars media and intellectual property, along with anything associated with the former film studio Lucasfilms, which was purchased by the government from the Walt Disney Corporation in 2025 for nearly $90 Billion.

George Lucas was brought into the [[Harlow Tinfoil]] presidential administration as the inaugural "Secretary of Star Wars" for the sole purpose of managing the intellectual property while recently acquitted former president [[Jeffrey Meena]] wrote, produced, and directed the second set of Star Wars sequels, beginning with [[Star Wars X: Ascent of Maul]].

Department of Star Wars

2026-06-08T16:09:19Z

King Horror: Created page with "The Department of Star Wars is an executive department of the U.S. federal government responsible for the management of Star Wars media and intellectual property, along with anything associated with the former film studio Lucasfilms, which was purchased by the government from the Walt Disney Corporation in 2025 for nearly $90 Billion."

Marco Rubio

2026-06-08T15:15:15Z

King Horror:

{{Biography
|caption = Marco Rubio discussing Florida's plan to merge with The Bahamas, 2022.
|image = rubio.png
|name = Marco Rubio
|birth = May 28, 1971
|career = US Senator from Florida, High Prince of The Flahamas
|known_for = ruling The Flahamas, being horrifically burned by [[Tropical Hellfire Armando]]
}}
Marco Rubio is a former Senator from the United States and the High Prince of the [[Principality of The Flahamas]].

His charred appearance, which became part of his brand image, was caused by severe burns inflicted by [[Tropical Hellfire Armando]] in August 2021.

In 2024, he successfully led a campaign to bring Florida and the Bahamas together as one independent nation, the Principality of the Flahamas. Naturally, he became its High Prince on January 1st, 2025.

==Quest for Immortality==
During his time as a US Senator in 2022, Rubio met [[Joaquin De Los Pavos]] while at a salon in Palm Peach. As Joaquin was looking "radiant," Rubio asked what his skincare routine was, to which Joaquin responded "La fuente."

Curious, Rubio spent many days and nights with Joaquin learning about the power of tobacco and the healing pools of [[Bimini]]. Combined, these could cure Rubio's hideous scars and make him "young and beautiful" for centuries. It was here where he conceived the plan to unify Florida and the Bahamas, to gain full access to all the restricted lands in the Bahamas.

His plan seemed far-fetched, but his new PAC the "[[Mamas for Flahamas Political Action Committee]]" quickly gained grassroots and corporate support from several entities from both the United States and The Bahamas. After Queen Elizabeth II was granted [[Super Death]] in September of 2022, the plan gained further momentum; the newly-crowned King Charles publicly forgot that the Bahamas existed.

The chaotic presidency of [[Jeffrey Meena]] and the theatrics of his impending divorce subsumed much of the national conversation about the [[2024 United States Presidential Election]], and Rubio took this opportunity to create a political party and file for candidacy. In a general election with at least 6 major candidates, the Rubio won the state of Florida's electoral college votes with 39% of the popular vote.

The logistics of getting true independence seemed nigh impossible, but, as fate had had it, two other independence movements also succeeded elsewhere in the country: the [[Greater Lakes]] and the Independent [[Washington, DC]] movements. With no majority achieved in the electoral college, the fate of the presidency and the independence movements was left to the outcome of the meetings of congress that came to be known as the [[Compromise of 2024]]. The outcome was in Rubio's favor.

On Christmas Eve, 2024, Rubio sent 500 yachts full of armed militiamen to fly the new flag of the Flahamas over every island in the Bahamas, and were met with no resistance except for at one island: the ever-desired Bimini.

Marco Rubio

2026-06-08T15:14:25Z

King Horror: /* Quest for Immortality */

{{Biography
|caption = Marco Rubio discussing Florida's plan to merge with The Bahamas, 2022.
|image = rubio.png
|name = Marco Rubio
|birth = May 28, 1971
|career = US Senator from Florida, High Prince of The Flahamas
|known_for = ruling The Flahamas, being horrifically burned by [[Tropical Hellfire Armando]]
}}
Marco Rubio is a former Senator from the United States and the High Prince of the [[Principality of The Flahamas]].

His charred appearance, which became part of his brand image, was caused by severe burns inflicted by [[Tropical Hellfire Armando]] in August 2021.

In 2024, he successfully led a campaign to bring Florida and the Bahamas together as one independent nation, the Principality of the Flahamas. Naturally, he became its High Prince on January 1st, 2025.

==Quest for Immortality==
During his time as a US Senator in 2022, Rubio met [[Joaquin De Los Pavos]] while at a salon in Palm Peach. As Joaquin was looking "radiant," Rubio asked what his skincare routine was, to which Joaquin responded "La fuente."

Curious, Rubio spent many days and nights with Joaquin learning about the power of tobacco and the healing pools of Bimini. Combined, these could cure Rubio's hideous scars and make him "young and beautiful" for centuries. It was here where he conceived the plan to unify Florida and the Bahamas, to gain full access to all the restricted lands in the Bahamas.

His plan seemed far-fetched, but his new PAC the "[[Mamas for Flahamas Political Action Committee]]" quickly gained grassroots and corporate support from several entities from both the United States and The Bahamas. After Queen Elizabeth II was granted Super Death in September of 2022, the plan gained further momentum; the newly-crowned King Charles publicly forgot that the Bahamas existed.

The chaotic presidency of [[Jeffrey Meena]] and the theatrics of his impending divorce subsumed much of the national conversation about the [[2024 United States Presidential Election]], and Rubio took this opportunity to create a political party and file for candidacy. In a general election with at least 6 major candidates, the Rubio won the state of Florida's electoral college votes with 39% of the popular vote.

The logistics of getting true independence seemed nigh impossible, but, as fate had had it, two other independence movements also succeeded elsewhere in the country: the [[Greater Lakes]] and the Independent [[Washington, DC]] movements. With no majority achieved in the electoral college, the fate of the presidency and the independence movements was left to the outcome of the meetings of congress that came to be known as the [[Compromise of 2024]]. The outcome was in Rubio's favor.

On Christmas Eve, 2024, Rubio sent 500 yachts full of armed militiamen to fly the new flag of the Flahamas over every island in the Bahamas, and were met with no resistance except for at one island: the ever-desired Bimini.

Marco Rubio

2026-06-08T15:04:13Z

King Horror:

All-American Suckers

2026-06-08T15:00:34Z

King Horror:

{{ORGANIZATION
|image=suck.jpg
|caption1=The Suckers, sucking.
|founded=1861
|founders=Abraham Lincoln, The Assistant
|time_period=1861-1984
|historical_context=American Civil War, Reconstruction
|members=256 (1873), 12 (1984)
|goals=steal the blood of unholy beasts
|allies=[[Not Deer]]
|enemies=Confederate States of America
}}

The All-American Suckers were an elite team of "vampires" who "sucked" the "blood" of their enemies.

Initially created as a branch of the Pinkerton Detective Agency, the Suckers were adopted into the federal government of the United States as a covert group instructed directly by US President Abraham Lincoln to find and kill people interested in giving human-level sentience to animals, plants and fungi.

While most "scientists" involved in these endeavors were crackpots and snake oil salesmen interested only in tricking the public by using the wonders of electricity, knowledge of their deaths in quick sequence and dramatic fashion brought greater and greater passion to those who truly were interested in bringing the gift of sentience to nonhuman species.

During the Vicksburg campaign of the United States Civil War, the Suckers descended upon a tavern in the besieged city, where they encountered a secret gathering of the [[Fountain of Youth]], a group of former Spanish Conquistadors who had not only found the gift of extended life in the form of a particular breed of tobacco, but had successfully turned their capes into conscious beings.
The Conquistadors were mostly eradicated, except for a turncoat named [[Joaquin De Los Pavos]], who begged that their capes be granted mercy. The capes, who could move, grovelled and begged for a second chance. The Suckers reluctantly accepted, and wore the sentient capes thenceforth.

After Abraham Lincoln's assassination in 1865, co-founder [[The Assistant]] took the lead of the organization until his death in 1936.

In 1872, the group discovered a herd of [[Not Deer]] who had decided that sentience was a curse to be expunged. As such, they joined forces with the Suckers, who often used them as their mounts when going on "hunts" for enemies.

Thanks to their efforts, most of the sentient animals and their creators were eradicated by 1912, all supposedly in the name of Abraham Lincoln. Only the Not Deer were allowed to remain.

Marco Rubio

2026-06-08T14:57:11Z

King Horror:

Marco Rubio

2026-06-08T14:56:26Z

King Horror:

Darby "Crumbleboy" Hatfield

2026-06-08T14:52:44Z

King Horror:

Darby “Crumbleboy” Hatfield (1801-1909) was a doctor and mad scientist who served as a medic for the 17th Michigan during the United States Civil War. He abandoned his post after experiencing “electricity” during the Battle of Antietam.

From there, he used his newfound talents to bring sentience to wild animals in Confederate territory.
He was taken captive at the Belle Isle military prison in 1863 after animating the first [[Not Deer]].
In a Virginia newspaper, he stated that his goal was to “create an army of freedom-fighting forest critters.” In prison, Hatfield experienced brutal conditions, and passed his time granting sentience to various squirrels, chipmunks, bats, wild pigs, and coyotes. One such coyote was “the chupacabra,” according to Hatfield, although nobody had any idea what he was talking about.

During the chaos of the Battle of Walkerton in February of 1864, Hatfield was captured by a group of vampires called the [[All-American Suckers]] who were working on behalf of Abraham Lincoln to eradicate all non-human sentient life.
He was brought covertly across enemy lines to Washington, DC and was presented directly to Abraham Lincoln. Hatfield was to refrain from his activities, as a matter of national security.

After the Civil War, Hatfield returned to his home in West Virginia to participate in the Hatfield-McCoy feud.

After the assassination of President William McKinley in 1901, [[Robert Todd Lincoln]], son of the late Abraham Lincoln, found Hatfield in his lair along the Cheat River near Rowlesburg, West Virginia to conscript him to create a race of sentient flowers to protect the White House from what he saw as his personal curse (being present for every US presidential assassination and attempt up to this point). The flowers, mostly roses, were made sentient. President Theodore Roosevelt noticed this in the summer of 1904 and proceeded to kill all of them and preserve them in formaldehyde. Roosevelt ordered Hatfield, now 103 years old, to be sent to German East Africa. There he was imprisoned in the Heart of Darkness, a high security prison for “vivimancers.”
There, for the remaining years of his life, Hatfield imbued several tribes of mountain gorillas with sentience. The leader of one tribe was known as [[Cants A]], father of the famous ape leader Cantsbee.

He died in 1909 after conscripting an army of moths and flies to raise him into the sky so he could “reach heaven.” The operation was interrupted by a breeze of approximately 5 miles per hour, sending Hatfield falling to his death from a height of approximately 7 feet.

Joaquin De Los Pavos

2026-06-08T05:23:01Z

King Horror: Created page with "Joaquin de los Pavos (referred to as “Turkey Jack” in some Cajun folklore) is a former Spanish conquistador and founding member of the Fountain of Youth. He joined the All-American Suckers in 1862 and supplied them with their famous sentient capes."

Joaquin de los Pavos (referred to as “Turkey Jack” in some Cajun folklore) is a former Spanish conquistador and founding member of the [[Fountain of Youth]].

He joined the [[All-American Suckers]] in 1862 and supplied them with their famous sentient capes.

Darby "Crumbleboy" Hatfield

2026-06-08T04:40:12Z

King Horror:

Darby “Crumbleboy” Hatfield (1801-1909) was a doctor and mad scientist who served as a medic for the 17th Michigan during the United States Civil War. He abandoned his post after experiencing “electricity” during the Battle of Antietam.

From there, he used his newfound talents to bring sentience to wild animals in Confederate territory.
He was taken captive at the Belle Isle military prison in 1863 after animating the first [[Not Deer]].
In a Virginia newspaper, he stated that his goal was to “create an army of freedom-fighting forest critters.” In prison, Hatfield experienced brutal conditions, and passed his time granting sentience to various squirrels, chipmunks, bats, wild pigs, and coyotes. One such coyote was “the chupacabra,” according to Hatfield, although nobody had any idea what he was talking about.

During the chaos of the Battle of Walkerton in February of 1864, Hatfield was captured by a group of vampires called the [[All-American Suckers]] who were working on behalf of Abraham Lincoln to eradicate all non-human sentient life.
He was brought covertly across enemy lines to Washington, DC and was presented directly to Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln explained to Hatfield that the Not Deer had joined forces with the Suckers. These were to be the only sentient nonhumans to remain on Earth, and Hatfield was no refrain from his activities.

After the Civil War, Hatfield returned to his home in West Virginia to participate in the Hatfield-McCoy feud.

After the assassination of President William McKinley in 1901, Robert Todd Lincoln, son of the late Abraham Lincoln, found Hatfield in his lair along the Cheat River near Rowlesburg, West Virginia to conscript him to create a race of sentient flowers to protect the White House from what he saw as his personal curse (being present for every US presidential assassination and attempt up to this point). The flowers, mostly roses, were made sentient. President Theodore Roosevelt noticed this in the summer of 1904 and proceeded to kill all of them and preserve them in fromaldehide. Roosevelt ordered Hatfield, now 103 years old, to be sent to German East Africa. There he was imprisoned in the Heart of Darkness, a high security prison for “vivimancers.”
There, for the remaining years of his life, Hatfield imbued several tribes of mountain gorillas with sentience. The leader of one tribe was known as [[Cants A]], father of the famous ape leader Cantsbee.

He died in 1909 after conscripting an army of moths and flies to raise him into the sky so he could “reach heaven.” The operation was interrupted by a breeze of approximately 5 miles per hour, sending Hatfield falling to his death from a height of approximately 7 feet.

Darby "Crumbleboy" Hatfield

2026-06-08T02:44:28Z

King Horror:

Darby "Crumbleboy" Hatfield

2026-06-08T02:33:00Z

King Horror: Created page with "Darby “Crumbleboy” Hatfield (1801-1909) was a doctor and mad scientist who served as a medic for the 17th Michigan during the United States Civil War. He abandoned his post after experiencing “electricity” during the Battle of Antietam. From there, he used his newfound talents to bring sentience to wild animals in Confederate territory. He was taken captive at the Andersonville military prison after animating the Not Deer. In a Tennessee newspaper"

File:Arne.jpeg

2026-05-24T04:10:53Z

King Horror:

Arne Analwad

2026-05-24T04:10:34Z

King Horror:

{{Biography
|title1 = Arne Analwad
|image1 = arne.jpeg
|caption1 = what Arne looks like while he sucks the inspiration from your soul
|name = Arne Armand Analwad III
|birth = 1974
|parents = Arne Analwad II
|spouse = his career
|children = his designs
|career = Architect
|known_for = causing people to lose brain cells}}

Arne Analwad is an extrasterile architect.

== Dying in the Subtlety ==
Arne's ability, Dying in the Subtlety, can reduce the electrical amplitude of any appliance or living thing. Usually, he uses this ability in a nonchalant manner, slowly cutting off electrical impulses to his victims' brain cells. After prolonged contact, this can permanently worsen the victims' mental acuity. This effect is frequently experienced by his students.

Arne Analwad

2026-05-20T21:27:13Z

King Horror: Created page with "Arne Analwad is an extrasterile architect who can reduce the electrical amplitude of any appliance or living thing."

Arne Analwad is an extrasterile architect who can reduce the electrical amplitude of any appliance or living thing.

Quimperlé United Institute of Technicalities

2026-05-20T21:24:14Z

King Horror:

{{ORGANIZATION|title1 = Quimperlé United Institute of Technicalities|founded = 1984|time_period = 1984-2036|image1 = QUIT.png|caption1 = School logo, was the winner of a school contest. Winner got a $15 Starbucks gift card.}}Q.U.I.T. is a sham school in Quimperlé, France. Even though the degrees it grants have almost no value, many people come here just to cash out their scholarships but some will stay until graduation to make the laundering less obvious. QUIT is the only government-subsidized school in the world to have no certified teachers. Because of this, it cannot be called an institute of technology. It is destroyed in the [[2036 Sinking of Burong]].

==Notable Alumni===
* [[Silvia Hesturn]]
* [[Jean Duffle]]
* [[Arne Analwad]]

Quimperlé United Institute of Technicalities

2026-05-20T21:23:52Z

King Horror:

{{ORGANIZATION|title1 = Quimperlé United Institute of Technicalities|founded = 1984|time_period = 1984-2036|image1 = QUIT.png|caption1 = School logo, was the winner of a school contest. Winner got a $15 Starbucks gift card.}}Q.U.I.T. is a sham school in Quimperlé, France. Even though the degrees it grants have almost no value, many people come here just to cash out their scholarships but some will stay until graduation to make the laundering less obvious. QUIT is the only government-subsidized school in the world to have no certified teachers. Because of this, it cannot be called an institute of technology. It is destroyed in the [[2036 Sinking of Burong]].

==Notable Alumni===
* [[Sylvia Hestern]]
* [[Jean Duffle]]
* [[Arne Analwad]]

Elves

2026-04-12T22:27:37Z

King Horror:

{{Being|title1 = Elves|image = elf.png|caption = a Canary|species = "Elf"|imaginary_range = ubiquitous through the Imaginary Plane|lifespan = up to 400 years|perception_of_time = cyclical|entanglement = Fertility}}

The Elves, if the rumours are true, are [[Fertility]] Constructs designed by the [[Chimney Man]] to fulfill His desires during His approximately 360-day slumber.

==Physical Description==
* Elves have no lips, making their sharp and pointy teeth, which are designed for the chewing and consumption of Coal, by which they are perpetually stained a dark and dusty black, clearly visible.
* Elvish tongues are extremely stiff and don’t bend.
* Elvish eyes are covered in multiple levels of eye lashes to keep the Coal out of their vision. Since the Elvish eye has evolved to thrive in an exceedingly dry and dusty environment, Elves naturally never need to close their eyes and thus lack eyelids.
* Elves have pointy ears, but they point downwards, so as to not collide with the low ceiling of their mines.
* Lower-class Elves (below the class of Collier) are typically always hunched down so as to fit in lower tunnels.
* Elves have inverted knees, so as to improve crawling in tunnel conditions.
* Elves are closer to Coal golems than biological creatures.
* The throat and mouth of an Elf is constantly extremely dry due to being coated in Coal dust, which renders their articulation extremely hoarse, strained, and outright grating.
* The complexion of an Elf is a dark grey, simply because they are always covered in layers upon layers of coal; no-one actually knows what the natural skin colour of an Elf is.
* Elves are mostly bald; the most hair they have on their bodies is their eye lashes.

==Documentary==
A famous documentary on Elvish language and culture can be found [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJi__6vcUuo here].

File:Elf.png

2026-04-12T22:25:17Z

King Horror:

Elves

2026-04-12T22:24:16Z

King Horror:

Elves

2026-04-12T22:21:55Z

King Horror:

The Elves, if the rumours are true, are [[Fertility]] Constructs designed by the [[Chimney Man]] to fulfill His desires during His approximately 360-day slumber.

==Physical Description==
* Elves have no lips, making their sharp and pointy teeth, which are designed for the chewing and consumption of Coal, by which they are perpetually stained a dark and dusty black, clearly visible.
* Elvish tongues are extremely stiff and don’t bend.
* Elvish eyes are covered in multiple levels of eye lashes to keep the Coal out of their vision. Since the Elvish eye has evolved to thrive in an exceedingly dry and dusty environment, Elves naturally never need to close their eyes and thus lack eyelids.
* Elves have pointy ears, but they point downwards, so as to not collide with the low ceiling of their mines.
* Lower-class Elves (below the class of Collier) are typically always hunched down so as to fit in lower tunnels.
* Elves have inverted knees, so as to improve crawling in tunnel conditions.
* Elves are closer to Coal golems than biological creatures.
* The throat and mouth of an Elf is constantly extremely dry due to being coated in Coal dust, which renders their articulation extremely hoarse, strained, and outright grating.
* The complexion of an Elf is a dark grey, simply because they are always covered in layers upon layers of coal; no-one actually knows what the natural skin colour of an Elf is.
* Elves are mostly bald; the most hair they have on their bodies is their eye lashes.

Elves

2026-04-12T22:19:33Z

King Horror: Created page with "The Elves, if the rumours are true, are Fertility Constructs designed by the Chimney Man to fulfill His desires during His approximately 360-day slumber."

The Elves, if the rumours are true, are [[Fertility]] Constructs designed by the [[Chimney Man]] to fulfill His desires during His approximately 360-day slumber.

Chimney Man

2026-04-12T22:18:14Z

King Horror:

{{Biography|
image = chimney-man.png|
caption = The Chimney Man looming over Omsk|
title = The Chimney Man|
name = See description|
birth = Before 100,000 BC|
ability = ????????????
}}

{{Character Sheet|
species = Unknown|
provenance = [[Mpumalanga]], probably|
height = 8' 10<nowiki>''</nowiki>|
eye_color = Red|
dimension = All of them|
}}

''Note: If you were looking for the 8th chapter of [[The Travels of Dagobert Winter]], see [[The Man in the Chimney]].''

The [[Chimney Man]], frequently also referred to as the '''Man in Red''', is a seemingly timeless, primordial entity that is active each year
around the twenty-fourth of December, and whose purpose and ambitions remain largely
unknown.

== Description ==
The Chimney Man seems to have a place in many cultures of
the world and is referred to by them by a multitude of different names, including
'''Santa Claus''' or '''Father Christmas''' by many cultures of the present day,
'''Irkalla''' by the Sumerians, '''Mot''' by the Phoenicians, '''Old Man Murder'''
by [REDACTED], as well as '''He Who Takes Stride Upon the Thrones of Madness'''
in the legends of the [[Coffee Haus Mages]] of the Gambia.

Most of what is ‘known’ about the Chimney Man has been handed down by tradition and
folk tales over the course of centuries and is, as a result, not seldom rooted in falsehood
and misconception. The same applies to His alleged "[[Elves]]."

The only thing that is known for certain is, though a multitude of people claim to
have seen or met Him, investigations conducted by the [[XMAS|Examiners of Malfeasances
Attributable to Santa]] in the early 1960s have yet revealed that the fate
of those poor souls that have the misfortune of having His gaze fall upon
them is sealed, for there is no escaping Him. Hardly anyone has ever met Him
eye to eye, and lived to tell the tale.

== History ==
He was long thought to be a mere invention of the human mind; one man however, disagreed with this notion: at the dawn of the 20th century, [[Dagobert Winter]] set out for the ancient land of Sumer. [[The Travels of Dagobert Winter|In what followed]], He was set free to roam the world once again.

In more recent times, there is one [[Sergey Yazov|‘encounter’]] of sorts that has been documented.

Odd Beverages

2026-03-10T03:05:55Z

King Horror: Created page with "''Odd Beverages'' is the 2022 debut EP by hyperpop musician Tyn PP."

''Odd Beverages'' is the 2022 debut EP by hyperpop musician [[Tyn PP]].

Tyn PP

2026-03-10T03:05:19Z

King Horror:

{{Biography
|caption1 = cover for Tyn PP's debut single, ''pp slide''
|birth = July 4th, 2001
|career = Musician
|known_for = absolute peak hyperpop content
|image = tyn pp.jpg
|ability = Applause
}}

Peter Merriweather Tinfoil, known by his alias "Tyn PP," is a hyperpop artist from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

Born to the wealthy Tinfoil family in 2001, Tyn PP is the son of Harlow and Windy Tinfoil.

His first single, "pp slide," went viral on TikTok in 2021 and skyrocketed him to fame that year. He released his first EP, ''Odd Beverages'' in July 2022, to critical acclaim.

When his father, [[Harlow Tinfoil]], became vice president of the United States in 2025, Tyn moved with him to the new United States presidential household, London Hall in [[London, Texas]]. London Hall had no electricity, so Tyn PP powered his music studio on gas generators.

After his father became President, much of his music focused on the eccentricities and excesses of life as part of the first family. This was despite the fact that life in London Hall was more akin to living in a meth den than a mansion. As such, much of his later music was criticized for utterly lacking self-awareness.

==Discography==

=== Singles ===
* ''pp slide'' (2021)
* ''f*** a PP'' (2021)
* ''i stole glue from target'' (2022)
* ''the first son of london texas'' (2025)
* ''the!'' (2026)

=== EPs ===
* ''[[Odd Beverages]]'' (2022)
* ''London G'' (2025)
* ''rolling in the jeep'' (2026)

==Applause==
After several years of severe caffeine addiction, he gained an ability, that some would call a curse, "Applause." His body literally has difficulty absorbing nutrients if more than 24 hours passes without him being praised or cheered for. When sufficient levels of approbations are reached, his strength and energy increase to such great levels that he can create one of his masterpieces in a single day's time. If needed, he can use this energy to build things that he has no training or knowledge of, with wisdom coming from the aether temporarily. Unfortunately for those around him, he usually uses this energy to create music.

File:Reaper.jpg

2026-02-12T05:21:34Z

King Horror:

Grain Reaper

2026-02-12T05:21:12Z

King Horror: Created page with "{{Biography|title1 = The Grain Reaper|image1 = reaper.jpg|name = Oxford Warrensweather|birth = 1811}} The Grain Reaper reaps the fertility of the midwestern United States. It's his passion, actually."

{{Biography|title1 = The Grain Reaper|image1 = reaper.jpg|name = Oxford Warrensweather|birth = 1811}}

The Grain Reaper reaps the fertility of the midwestern United States. It's his passion, actually.

Source

2026-02-12T01:43:05Z

King Horror:

{{Infobox Item|title = SOURCE|image = SOURCE.png}}Source or SOURCE is the source of all sources in the universe.

[[Mind|RXZlcnl0aGluZyBpcyBzb3VyY2UgYW5kIG1pbmQ=]]

[[Fertility]] and [[Sterility]] (Source)

[[Anility]] and [[Virility]] (End)

[[Chirality]] and [[Entropy]] (Transfer)

In the words of [[Rabo]]:

'''"So, here's the kicker. In this realm, we're allowed to be hookers. Why? Because when the [[Looking Glass]] comes, it looks at a part of Source, and it watches and it mixes, and when something mixes, That's why we have children."'''

Source and End are perspective-oriented (deictic) readings of the innate values of the universe.